Rearview Mirror
by gimpy72
Summary: AU – Tara Maclay was born and raised in a small town in Alabama. Tara left after a heated fight with her Father. Ten years later she is forced to go back home to resolve some things in order for her career to advance. While back there she runs into and has to face her past and those she left behind. What happens when past meets present? (No Vamps, No Hellmouth, No Magic...)
1. Prologue

**Title: **Rearview Mirror**  
****Disclaimer: **I do not own any of these Characters, just borrowed them and wish I did own them.**  
****Rating: **PG-13 - NC-17

**Feedback: **Pretty please…it helps me improve

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**Authors Notes:**_Thank you to _**Willara4ever **_for all your support with this story. Thanks for being the Beta to all my stories (even the ones that I haven't posted)._

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**_-This is a detour from a lot of what I have posted - I'm looking to find out what everyone thinks.-_**

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**Rearview Mirror**

**Prologue:**

"Girl you will learn to respect me and your brother or you will continue to pay the price for your disrespect," yelled Donald Maclay as his daughter lay on the floor gasping for breath.

"Donald please," pleaded his wife Sarah seeing her daughter sprawled on the floor as she held back her tears.

"Do you want to be next," he said glaring at the woman and raising his hand. "You are mostly to blame for her attitude and disrespect. You baby her and haven't in all this time taught her proper respect."

"Respect is earned not given," said Tara pulling herself up from the floor cradling her bloodied side. "Leave Mama out of this, she has done nothing to disrespect you or Donnie."

"Well, aren't you all tough," said Donnie Maclay to his sister as he stood there watching her get up.

"I am a lot tougher than you, I don't have to hit someone to make myself feel strong," Tara said as blood spat out of her mouth towards her brother.

"Girl, you show the proper respect while you are in this house," snapped Donald.

"Fine, I won't stay IN this house," said Tara looking at her mother. "Mama, I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore."

"You could never survive on your own," laughed Donald and Donnie.

"I can and I will," said Tara defiantly.

"Tara, honey, where will you go? What will you do?" asked Sarah. She couldn't stand what her husband and son were doing to her daughter, but she was powerless to stop it.

"I'll be fine Mama," Tara said offering her mother a soft, reassuring look.

"Fine, go get your stuff and get the hell out of here, but when you fail to survive on your own and have to come crawling back to me, us, your blood kin, then you will understand that I was right and you need to stop questioning what I tell you and follow my rules."

"Daaad, are you going to just let her leave?" asked Donnie with his whiney nasally voice as his sister stumbled out of the room.

"She will be back within a day."

"What if she isn't though? Then what?"

"Then the mistake that was made all those years ago to bring her into this world will be corrected in that she will no longer be OUR responsibility."

Tara re-entered the room carrying two bags. She walked over and hugged her mother careful not to get any blood on her. Tara had tried to bandage her side but it was still bleeding. She whispered into her mother's ear how sorry she was and that she needed to get out of there for her own safety and that her mother should do the same.

"So, are you ready to prove me right?" said Donald in a smug voice.

"I will prove you wrong," said Tara trying to project all the strength she had left.

"You know you are a mistake right?" Donnie asked her in a taunting voice.

"Yeah, I've known and felt that for years. You both succeeded in making that clear," Tara said casting here eyes down.

"Tara, where will you go? What will you do?"

"Dammit Sarah, just let her leave, she'll be back soon enough. She is weak and cannot survive without us," Donald snapped at his wife raising a hand in her direction. He then turned to his cold stare on his daughter. "Remember the price of telling, figure out if it is worth it or not."

Tara audibly gulped. She hugged her mother again and grabbed her bags and walked out the door fighting the urge to look back at her mother or cry. She wasn't going to give them the satisfaction though.

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**TBC...**


	2. Chapter 1 - 10 Years Later

**s:** Thank you for coming over and reading! I promise that we have a ways to go and I hope to keep it interesting!

**Boris Yeltsin:** Welcome to my web...please enjoy the ride!

**Shealyn02:** Welcome to my latest story. I truly hope you enjoy this one.

**Willara4ever: **Thanks for convincing me to post this story! I think this will be a different experience for people. It isn't like any of my others.

**matash21: **Thank you for helping with the summary and for all of your amazing support! Thanks for the awesome cover image! Thank you for doing a last review on it for me since I'm mentally not here today.

* * *

**Feedback:**Pretty please…it helps me improve and if I get stuck it tells me where you would like to see the story go.

**_Authors Notes:_**_Thank you to _**_Willara4ever _**_for all your support with this story. Thanks for being the Beta to all my stories (even the ones that I haven't posted)._

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**Chapter 1**

_**10 Years Later**_

"Tara, when you are finished for the day, stop by my office," said the middle-aged woman.

"Yes ma'am," said Tara as she glanced up from the painting she was working on.

"Hey Tara, what is that all about?" asked Dylan walking over to where Tara was working.

"I have no idea, I'd like to think it has to do with my portfolio, but who knows."

"Pellot, get your ass back to work. Maclay, stop distracting him," called the overweight man from his desk at the far side of the room.

"Want me to wait for you after work?" asked Dylan.

"Yeah, that would be great, now get out of here," giggled Tara pushing the raven-haired man away playfully.

As Tara continued to work on the painting in front of her she allowed her mind to wander and try to figure out what her boss wanted.

Tara finished her painting and showed it to her Supervisor. He told her that it looked good and to go up to galleries curators office.

* * *

Tara cleaned the paint from her hands and changed into a clean coat before walking upstairs to the management offices to the office labeled Lillian Boer, Curator. She knocked on the door and heard a muffled 'come in' from the other side.

"Ms. Boer, you wanted to see me?" asked Tara nerves creeping up on her.

"Ah Tara, yes. Please, have a seat," said the older raven-haired woman on the other side of the large mahogany desk.

"Thank you," said Tara sitting down in the leather high back chair.

"I wanted to talk with you about your portfolio," said Lillian.

"Okay," said Tara cautiously. Her nerves were now on edge.

"You have worked as a replicator for us here at the gallery for almost ten years now. I have watched you grow and I have reviewed your personal portfolio and I think you are ready to show in our next, Up and Coming Artist show."

"Y-y-you do?"

"I do. I would like to use some of your photographs in the show as well as your paintings."

"Thank you, Ms. Boer," Tara said trying to contain her excitement.

"Tara, how many times have I told you especially when it is just us call me Lillian? Now we have one problem with your portfolio," said Lillian.

"W-what is the problem?" asked Tara.

"In order to use the photographs we need you to get releases signed from the people in the pictures."

"Okay, do you know which photographs you want to use?" asked Tara excitedly.

"Yes, the photographs and paintings that we want to use are here," said the older woman grabbing a contact sheet showing four photographs on it and four paintings.

Tara looked over the contact sheet and three of the four photographs they wanted to use were from when she was in high school. Tara groaned internally.

"So, what we need is for you to get release forms signed from the people in the photographs as soon as you can."

"I'm um, going to need to take some time off then. Three of the pictures are from when I was in high school, so I need to go back to Alabama to get the forms signed."

"Do whatever you need, just get them done within the next two weeks and you can show in the next event. The event is in two months," said Lillian.

"Yes ma'am," said Tara as she rose and shook the older woman's hand and then left the office and went to meet Dylan.

* * *

Dylan paced outside the back dock of the gallery waiting for Tara. The last time that someone got called up to the curators office they were fired and escorted out by the police. He didn't believe that Tara was the type to get in that kind of trouble, but he still worried none the less.

Tara walked out of the back door and saw relief cross Dylan's face.

"So, what'd she want?" asked Dylan as they started to walk down the alley.

"She wants to put me in the next, Up and Coming Artist show," said Tara.

"Seriously?" asked Dylan stopping in his tracks causing Tara to turn around and look back at him.

"Yeah," Tara said as a smile crept across her face.

"Well, we need to celebrate," said Dylan hugging the blonde. "Let's go out tonight. You, me, drinks, and dancing."

"O-okay, you talked me into it."

"Okay, you are never that easy, there is more isn't there."

"Yeah, but I'll explain when you meet me at my apartment before we go out," said Tara.

"Alright, fine, make me wait. I'll be by your apartment at seven," said Dylan.

"I'll see you then," said Tara as she turned the opposite direction of her friend and hailed a cab.

Twenty minutes later the cab stopped outside her apartment building. It was an old brownstone set in a quiet tree-lined street in an older section of New York City.

* * *

Tara quickly changed to go out with Dylan and then logged on to her computer to make plans to go 'home' to get the forms signed. She pulled up a site to check for cheap tickets. She found a flight that left the next day and a return flight three days later. _"That should be enough time to convince them to sign the forms," thought Tara._ She booked the flight and then checked the clock. Dylan was going arrive in about 15 minutes. She quickly went and started to pack since the flight was going to leave early the next morning.

Tara heard a knock on the door and quickly ran and answered it.

"Hey Tara, are you ready to go?" asked Dylan as he followed her into the apartment.

"I need five more minutes," said Tara. "I found a flight that leaves early tomorrow so I was just packing. I didn't want to leave it until after we got back in case it was really late."

"We don't have to go out, we can hang out here and we'll celebrate when you get back. Wait, you're leaving town?"

"Are you sure you don't mind not going out? And, yes, I have to leave, but only for a few days."

"I don't mind us not going out...tonight," said Dylan.

"What did I ever do to deserve such a great friend as you?"

"You were in the wrong place at the right time..." said Dillon and they both began to laugh. "Now, explain why you are leaving...tomorrow."

They ordered in dinner and Tara explained that she had to go back to get release forms signed by the people in the photographs that they wanted to use. After they ate they watched movies until Dylan decided that it was time for him to leave and Tara to get some sleep.

"Call me if you need me, for anything at all no matter what time," he told her as he pulled her into a hug.

"I will, I wish you were going with. I have no clue what to expect," said Tara into his shoulder.

"It will work out, I promise."

"It better or you are in trouble," said Tara pulling away from the hug and laughing and poking Dylan in the chest.

"Take care," they both said as Dylan left and Tara went to get the last-minute items together and get some sleep.

* * *

Tara arrived in her home town, the sense of dread that had plagued her since she found out she had to come back here was amplified. The smell of the tire factory, the audible whispers, the eyes always watching your every move, always looking for something to gossip about. She was so glad that she had gotten away from this, but here she was standing on Main Street about to go into the Green Tree Hotel. Taking a deep breath she calmed her nerves and entered.

"Welcome to the Green Tree Hotel. How may I help you?" asked the bubbly woman behind the counter.

"Hi, I have a room reserved under Tara Pellot," said Tara. She had chosen not to use her surname in case somehow her family found out she was there.

"Yes, Ms. Pellot, we have your room ready. One moment while I get your key and the paperwork," said the woman as she disappeared into the office behind the desk. When she returned she had the invoice showing the reservation for three days and the key card. "Okay, we have you in our Bonsai Suite on the 4th floor. Here is you key card."

"I didn't reserve a suite," questioned Tara.

"I know, but it is open and well, you have a nice smile so I moved you into it and adjusted the room rate to match the one you reserved," said the woman winking at Tara.

"T-thank you, but I don't w-want to get you in trouble," Tara said smiling.

"The hotel manager and I went to school together. My name is Sidney, let me know if you need anything at all."

"Thank you Sidney," said Tara as she took her stuff and headed towards the elevator.

Tara took the elevator to the 4th floor and then went down the hall to the door labeled Bonsai Suite and it had a picture of a bonsai tree on it causing Tara to smile.

She opened the door and saw that the room was rather large and had a nice view of the small town. The room had an Asian theme to it right down to the platform bed. Tara put her bag down on the bed and tried to quell the uneasy feeling that was rising within her again. After washing her face and changing into something more fitting of the town and not New York City. Tara then decided to go out and walk around. She had been gone 10 years, she had changed her hair color, her hairstyle was different, she wore rimless glasses, and her body was more toned than it ever was when she lived here. She was certain nobody would recognize her.

As the elevator opened she saw Sidney talking to a slender, tall brunette. Sidney saw Tara and smiled sweetly at her which caused the brunette to turn and Tara thought she was going pass out. Their eyes locked.

"Tara?" said the brunette causing Sidney to look between the two.

"_Well, so much for not being recognized," thought Tara._ "Dawnie?" said Tara.

"Oh...my...god," said Dawn rushing forward and wrapping her arms around Tara.

Feeling awkward Tara just patted Dawn on the back and looked at Sidney and smiled.

"I can't believe it's you. What are you doing here? Does anyone else know you are here? Does Willow know?" asked Dawn rapidly as she pulled away from the blonde.

"How did you recognize me? You were just a kid the last time I saw you," said Tara still in shock that she had been so easily recognized.

"You never forget the first person you have a crush on," said Dawn.

"I'm sorry, you what?"

"Tara, you were the first person I ever had a crush on. God, I was so jealous of Willow. Does she know you are here?"

"No," said Tara shaking her head. _"But she will soon enough..." thought Tara._

"Does anyone know you are here?"

"No," said Tara staring at the ground. "I am back for a specific purpose and then I'm gone again. I haven't kept in touch with anyone so I didn't have anyone to warn I was coming back. You are the second person I have seen since I arrived. Sidney being the first person."

"Do you know anything that has gone on here in the last 10 years?" asked Dawn.

"No, I haven't even been in this part of the country in 10 years. When I left...well..."

"You cut us all out, yeah, I should kick your ass for that too," said Dawn anger in her voice resonating with the blonde deeply.

"I didn't do it to hurt anyone," Tara whispered noticing that Sidney was still watching them very intently.

"Well, you did. You about killed Willow and that I will not forgive you for. Come with me to my office, we need to have a serious talk," said Dawn taking Tara's hand and walking her past Sidney and into the office labeled Manager.

* * *

Tara cautiously sat down in the chair in front of the desk as Dawn closed the door behind them.

"Dawn, what gave me away, honestly?" asked Tara intent on knowing how she had been found out so quickly and effortlessly.

"Your eyes."

"My eyes?"

"Yeah, nobody has eyes that blue and piercing," Dawn said looking at her computer quick before turning to focus her attention on Tara.

"I didn't know that they were that big of a giveaway. I figured with the glasses and hair color change and well 10 years of being away I'd be harder to recognize."

"To most you will be. To me, I would know you anywhere," said Dawn her eyes fixed on Tara. "Why are you here?"

"I-I need to get release forms signed by a few people and then I am gone and I won't bother anyone again."

"Release forms? For what?"

"I'm going to have my work featured in an art show and because some of the pieces they have chosen are from my photography collection I need to get the people in the photos to sign some forms," said Tara.

"Please tell me Willow isn't one of those people," said Dawn closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Unfortunately, she is one," Tara said looking down at her hands.

"Who else?" asked Dawn her tone was that of defeat.

"Xander, and you," said Tara as she heard Dawn sigh.

"I'm not here to cause trouble or pain. I just need to get these and then like I said I'm gone."

"It may be that easy for you Tara, but for us who have had to live here and go through what we have, it isn't that simple," snapped Dawn angrily.

"What are you talking about Dawn? I don't understand what you mean by what you have gone through living here."

"Shit, I don't know what to do here. Willow was devastated by you leaving. You didn't even say goodbye to her, Tara. She was your girlfriend and you just walked away without a word or a second thought. She loved you..."

"I love, loved her too, Dawn."

"I'm sorry, but your actions speak otherwise," Dawn said the anger coming back. "You realize that it wasn't just your family you walked out on right? You walked out on all of us."

Tara hadn't thought about it in that perspective and now she understood the brunette's anger. She couldn't say anything the guilt building inside her.

"I will call Willow and have her come here, but you need to stay put in your room until I have talked to her," said Dawn. "What room are you in?"

"Um, t-the B-bonsai S-suite," said Tara.

Dawn smiled, "I should have known. I swear Sidney holds that room open until she finds someone attractive and then gives it to them. I need you to trust me and not go walking around just yet, please. I need to tell Willow you are here before someone else does. There are reasons that I can't explain right now."

Just then the door to the office burst open and there stood a red-faced redhead with tears in her eyes.

"Shit," said Dawn as she exhaled.

Tara just sat there, startled by the door opening and the sight of Willow.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in," said Willow coldly.

"Willow, calm down," said Dawn rising from her desk and walking over to position herself between Willow and Tara.

"Why should I? What gives her the right to come back here?"

"How in the hell did you know she was here?" asked Dawn.

"I stopped to see you and Sid said that you had someone named Tara in your office. Someone you hadn't seen in a while. I asked her to describe this Tara and she said she was blonde, with glasses, and the most incredible blue eyes she had ever seen. That was what gave it away."

"I'm going to kill Sidney," mumbled Dawn.

"Well, are you going to say anything for yourself or just sit there looking at your hands with your mouth agape?" Willow asked looking at Tara.

"I-I don't know w-what to s-say," said Tara.

"How about starting with why are you here?" snapped Willow.

"I need a signature from you, Dawn, and Xander, and then I'm gone. Out of your life for good."

"Keep dreaming Tara. You aren't getting a fucking thing from me," said Willow as she stalked out of the office and the hotel leaving both Tara and Dawn in stunned silence.

"That went well," said Dawn as she collapsed into the chair beside Tara.

"I'm sorry," said Tara.

* * *

Willow burst out of the hotel, her anger overtaking her, she needed to get as far away from there as she could and quick.

"_She has no right to be back here. She left, she abandoned all of us and never looked back. No, she cannot have a stupid signature from me. Like I will do anything for her. Who the fuck does she think she is? What gives her the right to come back here," thought Willow as she rushed through the streets towards her home, her sanctuary._

Willow opened the door to her house and closed and locked it. There were three locks on the door, three locks that daily reminded her of Tara, of the fallout of her leaving. Staggering her mind so jumbled, Willow made her way to the recliner and sat down burying her face in her hands, trying to fend off the memories.

"_Open this door now," screamed Donald Maclay. "I want in and I want my wife back."_

"_Donald it is over, you signed the papers, please just go away," cried Sarah._

"_I will break down this door if you do not open it this minute!"_

"_I'm calling the police," yelled Willow. She had positioned herself between Sarah and the door where on the other side was Tara's father, Sarah's now ex-husband. He had beaten Sarah almost to death after Tara left, beaten her because she had tried to stop her daughter, beaten her because he felt he deserved the right to do so. Willow was sick to her stomach. She could still here Xander's voice on the phone when he called and said that they had responded to a disturbance at the Maclay house and that he was in the ambulance now heading to the hospital and that Tara's mom was in critical condition and it didn't look well._

_Willow had helped Sarah heal. She had taken care of her, made sure she was never lonely, made sure she knew she was loved and needed and wanted somewhere. After Sarah was well enough to go home she moved in with Willow and had filed for a restraining order and for a divorce. The divorce would take three years to get finalized, but it had finally happened. Now, here was the maniac pounding on Willow's door, trying to get to Sarah._

"_911 what is your emergency?" asked the male voice on the other end of the phone._

"_Yes, there is an angry and violent man pounding on my door and trying to break into my house," said Willow._

"_What is your address?"_

"_1118 Seventy-second street," said Willow._

"_An officer is on the way," said the voice on the other end. "Please stay on the line with me until they arrive."_

_Then it happened, the lock gave way on the door and in came Donald Maclay. He was making his way towards Willow, grabbing the phone out of her hand he screamed 'Time to pay bitch' and tossed the phone aside._

_Sarah was cowering in the corner, she knew what he was capable of, she knew that she was the one that could stop him from hurting Willow, but she couldn't move, fear paralyzed her._

"_The police are on their way," said Willow as Donald's hands reached for her._

"_Like I care. You will be dead long before they get here," he said with a sneer. He reached out and grabbed her forearm and pulled her towards him just as the police arrived._

"_Let her go sir," said one of the officers._

"_Fuck you," said Donald as he made a fist with his other hand and pulled back readying to hit Willow._

"_Sir, let...her...go," said the other officer drawing his weapon and aiming it at the older man._

"_I don't think so," he said as his fist started to move towards Willow's face but never connected._

_Willow heard the loud noise, felt a warm liquid on her face, she felt herself being pulled to the ground, and then she heard Sarah scream. It was a piercing scream, one of complete and utter terror. Willow tried to twist herself so she could see the older woman, but she couldn't. She hit the ground hard, hitting her head and being knocked unconscious. After being checked out and cleared by the paramedics, Sarah took Willow and helped her get cleaned up and they held onto one another that night and several nights after._

The memory was like it happened yesterday, in reality though it had been almost seven years ago. Seeing Tara had brought it all back, Willow didn't feel safe, she didn't know where to go or what to do. She sat there in the recliner rocking anxiously.

* * *

"Dawn, why is Willow so upset?" asked Tara unsure why Willow had such a strong reaction to her being there. She could understand her being angry, but after all these years, to be THAT upset.

"It isn't my place to say, but you need to understand that you need to move cautiously around her. She has been though a lot over the past 10 years. Let me try to talk to her, and if I can't maybe Xander can," said Dawn.

"You're scaring me here Dawn. What happened to Willow? I want to know."

"It isn't my story to tell, it is hers. I won't betray her by saying any more."

"Well, do you know where I can find Xander?"

"He is a paramedic, you are going to have to wait for him to get off work. I'll leave him a message to swing by the hotel when he gets done. That way you two can talk," said Dawn.

"Thank you. Are you willing to sign the release form?" asked Tara.

"I want to see what they want in the show first," Dawn said with a smile.

"I have the proof up in my room. I can go get it or you can come with."

"Why don't you go get it and I'll call Xander," suggested Dawn. "Just tell Sidney to bring you back to my office."

"Alright, I'll be back soon," said Tara and she stood and left Dawn's office closing the door behind her.

* * *

Dawn waited for the door to click closed before she picked up the phone and dialed.

"Dawnster, what's up?" said the voice on the other end.

"Hey Xander, we have a problem," said the brunette.

"Okay, that sounds serious."

"Tara is back in town, staying here at the hotel, and to top it off, Willow knows."

"That is a big problem! How did Willow find out?"

"She stopped by to see me and Sid told her I was meeting with someone named Tara and then described her. Willow came bursting in to my office. She snapped at Tara and then left."

"Have you called her yet?" asked Xander.

"Not yet," said Dawn.

"I'll swing by her house in a few minutes, then I'll come by the hotel. I'd like to have a few choice words with Tara."

"She needs to talk to you as well. She needs you to sign a release form for some photographs she is going to be putting in a show."

"Okay, I'll see you in about 20 minutes," said Xander and then he hung up the phone grabbed his keys and headed out of the firehouse to go to Willow's house.

* * *

"_What could have happened to Willow for Dawn to be so cautious and for her to freak out the way she did? How am I going to convince her to sign the form? That photo of her is one of the most important pictures I have ever taken," thought Tara as she walked through the lobby to the elevator to go to her room._

Tara opened the door to her room and remembered leaving it not to long ago and yet it felt like she had been gone days. She walked over and grabbed the proof sheet out of her bag and two of the release forms. She sent a quick text to Dylan to tell him she needed to talk to him and would call later tonight.

Tara headed back down to the lobby and over to where Sidney was watching her.

"Hi, Dawn said I was to have you escort me back to her office," Tara said smiling at the girl behind the counter.

"No problem. I have never seen Dawn or Willow ever react like they have with you. Who are you?"

"I'm just an old friend," Tara said simply.

"Well, if you need someone to talk to, give me a call," said Sidney slipping her number into Tara's hand and then leading her back to Dawn's office just as Dawn was finishing her call to Xander.

* * *

Willow was pacing around the room when she heard the doorbell ring. She froze, and then she heard Xander call her though the door. She quickly made her way over and opened the door.

"Hey Will," said the dark-haired man.

"Hi," said Willow softly.

"I heard you had a little shock today. I wanted to see how you were doing," said Xander as they moved into the living room and sat down.

"Tara is in town," whispered Willow staring at the ground.

"I heard, that doesn't tell me how you are doing though."

"I had an episode after I got home," Willow said as she started to cry.

"Come here," said Xander as he wrapped his arms around his best friend.

"I, she," stammered Willow.

"Ssshhh, Dawn said she just wants us to sign some stupid form and then she'll be gone."

"I don't want her gone, I want to know why," Willow said as she started to cry harder.

"Well, you can ask her that if you want. You just need to talk to her."

"Yeah, that goes so well," said Willow pulling back and wiping the tears from her face. "I burst into the office and yelled and told her I wasn't giving her the damn signature."

"You were in shock Willow, it was an understandable reaction. Now, you need to figure out if you can handle finding out why and being in the same room as her."

"Will you and Dawn be there with me?" asked Willow timidly.

"If you want us there, we will do what you want and need."

"I need you guys there," her tone desperate.

"Do you need time or would you like to come with me now? I'm just heading over there to meet with Dawn and Tara, but I wanted to check on you first. You take priority in my book."

"I don't know, do you think it'd be okay?"

"I don't care if it is okay or not. If you want to come with then you are coming with," smiled Xander.

"And you won't leave me alone with her?"

"Nope. Not unless you tell me to."

"Then I want to go with," said Willow.

"Great, you go wash your face and get ready and then we'll leave. I'm going to text Dawn to let her know that you are coming with me."

Willow smiled at him and then hurried upstairs to freshen up and prepare herself to see Tara again.

Once Willow was upstairs Xander sent a text to Dawn letting her know that Willow was coming with and they may want to move it to a different place. Dawn said that she would move it to Tara's suite. She told him to come up to the Bonsai Suite when they got there.

Willow finished freshening up and came downstairs and smiled at Xander as he rose and they left the house to go to the hotel to meet with Tara and Dawn

* * *

**TBC...**


	3. Chapter 2 - And So It Begins

**Boris Yeltsin:** Thank you for reading!

**Suzi:** It is a good thing that you are intrigued! That should keep you coming back!

**Willara4ever: **I'm glad you liked the chapter and yes, it is very sad what happened to Willow.

**matash21: **Thank you for helping with the summary and for all of your amazing support! Thanks for the awesome cover image!

* * *

**Feedback:**Pretty please…it helps me improve and if I get stuck it tells me where you would like to see the story go.

**_Authors Notes:_**_Thank you to _**_Willara4ever _**_for all your support with this story. Thanks for being the Beta to all my stories (even the ones that I haven't posted)._

* * *

**Chapter 2 - And So It Begins...**

Tara knocked on Dawn's door and heard her tell her to come in. As Tara entered Dawn set her phone down and let out a deep sigh.

"I d-don't want t-to keep f-frustrating you," said Tara knowing that sigh was because of her.

"That isn't it. Xander just sent a text stating that Willow was coming with him. She wants to talk to you, but she can't do it alone and wants both him and I there."

"Oh," said Tara surprised that Willow would want to see her so soon.

"Do you mind if we do this up in your suite? I think it will be more comfortable and private," said Dawn.

"No, that is fine. I think it might actually be easier for me as well. Contrary to what you all believe, life hasn't been all hugs and kitties for me either."

"I never said that it was, but you chose to do it without us," Dawn said coldly as she got up and her and Tara headed out of the office. Dawn stopped and talked to Sidney for a minute. Tara could tell that Sidney was confused by what Dawn was telling her. She kept giving a sideways glance at Tara as if she were trying to watch what she was doing. After a few minutes Sidney could be heard telling Dawn that she didn't have to worry, she had it all covered. Dawn had turned and started to make her way to Tara when Sidney made her statement.

Tara called the elevator and the two went up to her room. They sat in silence, both trying to figure out what was going to happen next. What the future would hold.

* * *

A knock at the door startled both Tara and Dawn who had been lost in thought. Tara got up and answered the door allowing Xander and Willow to enter and they joined Dawn in the pseudo living room. Xander and Willow sat next to one another on the couch and Dawn and Tara sat in the chairs. They were all looking between one another wondering who was going to start to speak first.

"Well, we all know that Tara is here to get release forms signed. Tara, can you explain what for?" Dawn asked getting the conversation going.

"I h-have been offered a s-spot in an art s-show coming up at the gallery I work at. The selection that they have made to show consists of 4 paintings and 4 photographs. Because you are in those photographs I need to get a release form signed for them to be shown. I have a copy of the proof if you want to see what will be displayed," said Tara looking each person in the eye.

"I want to see for certain," said Dawn taking the proof that Tara was holding. After looking through the proof she handed it over to Xander who then passed it to Willow.

Tara sat quietly while each person looked at the proof and she tried to read what they were thinking.

"These are really good," said Willow as Xander and Dawn nodded in agreement.

"Thank you."

"You said you work at a gallery, what do you do there?" asked Xander.

"I work as a replicator. We take high end paintings and replicate them to put into the gallery to lower the insurance cost."

"So, you forge paintings?" asked Dawn.

"No, we have permission to replicate them from the other galleries that are loaning the originals to us."

"So, you recreate the paintings?" asked Xander.

"Yes, and that is what has helped me improve my painting skills to create a better rounded portfolio."

"So, if we don't sign the release you can't use the photographs?" asked Willow.

"Correct," said Tara not liking how this was going.

"Why did you leave?" Xander blurted out receiving looks from all three women. "What? We all want to know, why shouldn't we just ask?"

"After being my Dad and Donnie's punching bag that night, I couldn't stay there anymore. That night they had gotten carried away and hit me where the bruises were going to show. Would any of you have let it go had you seen them?" asked Tara looking at the three. "Willow, realistically what would you have done had you seen them or seen me flinch or grimace while we were kissing?" The room was eery silent. "You all would have acted in a way that would have resulted in my getting beaten to death," said Tara as she heard a scoffing noise come from Willow's direction. "I couldn't continue to be a punching bag for them, so I packed a bag and left. I didn't think that he was going to let me go, I'm surprised he even let me leave the house."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" asked Dawn.

"I was scared of what my Dad or Donnie would do to anyone they thought helped me. I knew if I stayed here he would find me and I'm certain he would have killed me," said Tara.

"We could have helped you," said Willow barely above a whisper.

"Willow, I couldn't risk him hurting any of you because of me. Especially you Will. If they had hurt you because of me, I would never have been able to live with myself."

"It's been 10 years Tara, do you ever wonder what happened after you left? Did you ever think about those of us that you abandoned and left behind?" asked Willow, anger taking over.

"Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about you Willow," whispered Tara.

"You wouldn't know that from here. From here it just looks like you only thought about yourself. Why didn't you ever try to contact us? In 10 years you couldn't pick up a fucking phone? Send a fucking letter?" asked Willow almost yelling at Tara.

"I thought about it. I wrote you tons of letters, both you and Dawn, I was too afraid to send them. I did pick up the phone on several occasions and call, but I chickened out before saying anything. I wanted to, I tried to speak, but no words or sounds would come out."

"Those are excuses, bullshit answers," snapped Dawn causing Tara to wince.

"They may be, but they are the truth," said Tara trying to contain her defensiveness.

"Well, I hope you are enjoying your new life," said Dawn.

"I know that you can't still be this angry at me for leaving. What happened after I left? Why are you all still so angry?"

"Do you really want to know? Will it really matter?" asked Willow full of anger now.

"Willow, you need to calm down," said Xander placing a hand on the redheads arm. "You had an episode already today. Getting worked up is just going to make it worse."

"You had an episode? Willow are you ok? Was it a bad one?" asked Dawn in rapid fire as she move quickly from her chair to kneel in front of Willow.

Tara was confused and very concerned. She had no idea what they were talking about, but it seemed serious and it involved Willow. She had never stopped loving the redhead, but she didn't want to put her in harms way either. Tara had convinced herself that staying away was what was best, now she was realizing that it wasn't.

"It was after I got home, it was powerful, but I answered the door when Xander knocked," said Willow wiping a tear from Dawn's cheek. "I'm okay Dawnie, I promise. You worry too much."

"I worry just the right amount. You are my best friend Will," said the brunette. "We don't have to go through things today, we can wait, do it tomorrow."

"I'm okay Dawnie, I promise. Dr. Scott said it might help me to talk about it and especially to Tara."

"I don't know if it is the best idea with emotions so high, but alright. The moment you start to regress we end it though."

"Fine, we'll play it by your rules," conceded Willow.

"Willow?" asked Tara concern coming through in the way she was looking at the redhead and in her voice.

"I think we should all take bathroom breaks and get some food and drinks," said Xander.

"I'll get Spike to send us up an assortment," said Dawn going over to Tara's phone and calling room service and talking to whomever answered.

Willow went to the bathroom, Xander walked over to the window and stared out. Tara pulled out her phone and sent a message to Dylan asking that he get a couple of days off and get down there as soon as he could. He responded telling her he was just getting to the hotel.

"Dawn, I have someone who just arrived at the hotel that is going to be coming upstairs, I need to go talk to him quick," Tara said quietly.

"Did you move on to boys? I noticed you weren't checked in under your own last name. Is this your husband?"

"It is his last name, but no, I still only date women. Dylan is my best friend, he is here to help me."

"Fine, I'll stall them, but he better not interfere," warned Dawn as she looked over at Willow and Xander. "I'll tell them someone else is joining us, you can explain the rest."

"Thank you," said Tara and she made her way out the door and into the hallway to meet Dylan.

"Where'd Tara go?" asked Willow.

"She is meeting someone who I guess is here to help her. I told her she had to explain it."

"I can't do this if it is her girlfriend or boyfriend."

"I already clarified that it isn't."

"Let's sit down and wait for Tara and the food," said Xander.

* * *

Tara leaned against the wall by the elevator waiting for it to arrive at her floor. She heard the bell ding and relief filled her as the doors opened and Dylan was standing there with his arms open ready to pull her into a hug.

"Come here Sweetie," said Dylan as Tara practically ran into his arms. He wrapped her into a hug and felt her arms around him and squeezing him tight. "Tara, are you okay?"

"That has to be one of the stupidest questions you have ever asked me," said Tara pulling back from the hug.

"What's going on?"

"Well, I've got Xander, Dawn, and Willow in my room at the moment," started Tara.

"The Willow?"

"The Willow. Something happened after I left and Willow is going to tell me what it is," said Tara. "I'm scared about what she is going to say. Just before I sent you that text they were talking about Willow having an episode and how it wasn't as bad and that she was still able to open the door when Xander arrived."

"Wow, I'm glad that I told Lillian that I needed to be here for you," Dylan said offering her a soft smile and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Should we get you back in there?"

"Yeah," Tara said as they walked to the door and she slid the keycard in the slot.

Opening the door caused everyone to turn and look at Tara and the man with her as they entered. They made their way to where the others were, Dylan grabbing the desk chair so that he could sit next to Tara.

"Everyone, this is Dylan. He is my best friend. Dylan, this is Dawn, Xander, and Willow."

"It is nice to meet you all, and nice to put faces with names. Tara has told me a lot about all of you," said Dylan in a soft but secure voice.

Dawn and Xander both shook his hand, Willow looked at him, trying to figure out if there was more to him or his and Tara's relationship.

"Willow, are you okay?" asked Tara.

"How long have you known him?" asked Willow.

"I met him my second week in New York City. He helped me get the job as a replicator."

"And you talked to him about us?"

"I told you earlier, not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about you Willow. Dylan can tell you that I mean it. He is who I talk about you all to," said Tara as all eyes went from her to Dylan who nodded that she was telling the truth.

"I know you don't know me, but I promise if you give me a chance you'll see I'm here strictly to support Tara and help any of you in any way I can. I feel as though I know you all," said Dylan.

Willow was just about to ask Dylan a question when there was a knock at the door.

"That has to be Spike with the food and drinks," said Dawn as she made her way to the door and let the bleach blonde man in the chef's coat in. He placed the cart near where they were sitting and then quickly left.

"Let's eat and then Willow can tell you what she has to say," said Dawn.

Tara and Dylan let the others get their food before they grabbed some fruit and a water.

"So, do you do showings like Tara?" asked Dawn.

"No, she is far more talented than I am. I can replicate pictures, but I can't create something on my own," said Dylan.

* * *

Silence filled the room as everyone ate and took in what Dylan had said. Xander, Dawn, and especially Willow had thought that Tara had never thought twice about them after she left and now they knew that she had, and she had talked about them with Dylan.

Tara and Dylan sat there wondering what it was that Willow was going to tell them. Dylan was hoping that he would be able to support the blonde in the way that she needed. Tara was hoping she could emotionally handle what Willow was going to tell her. She knew from everyone's reaction that it was serious.

Dawn finished eating and put her plate back on the tray, she walked over and offered to take Xander and Willow's plates as well. Willow sat there with a vacant look on her face.

"Will," said Dawn as she looked at the woman sitting in front of her. When she received no response she knelt down and softly said the woman's name again and still no response. Dawn quickly glanced over at Xander before placing her hand on Willow's arm and saying her name a third time. This time she saw Willow look at her.

"Where'd you go?" asked Dawn softly.

"I'm sorry," Willow said as a tear rolled down her face.

"Will, don't be sorry, you have nothing to be sorry for. I was just wondering where you went in your head."

Glancing over at Tara whose face was etched in concern and Dylan who was holding the blonde's hand Willow said, "I went back to just before Tara left, we went to the old Miller pond and went swimming."

"Willow, I remember that day," Tara said with a smirk and turned a slight shade of red.

"It is one of the happy memories that has kept me grounded and helped me survive the past 10 years," Willow said looking at her hands that were now in her lap as Dawn had taken her plate from her.

Tara got up and walked over and knelt down in front of the redhead. This was the closest they had been since Tara's arrival. She was slow and cautious, she reached out her hand and tentatively touched Willow's hand causing the redhead to flinch slightly but also look up at her.

"Hi," Tara said offering Willow a small lopsided smile.

"Hi," said Willow staring into Tara's eyes before raising her hand to Tara's hair and running her fingertips through it. "How long have you been blonde?"

"About ten years," she answered.

"I like it," said Willow.

"What can I do to make this easier for you?" asked Tara.

"I-I really need to tell you this stuff, but I'm scared."

"Why are you scared?" asked Tara softly.

"Because, I know how painful it is and I d-d-don't want to..." started Willow as her emotions started to build up inside her.

Tara seeing the anxiety and distress Willow was in and seeing Xander and Dawn fighting to not come to Willow's aid she took a hold of Willow's hand, when she didn't pull away Tara moved slowly and brought Willow into a hug. As her arms wrapped around Willow she felt Willow grab her and hold on for dear life. Tara just held the redhead who had started to cry as well.

Dylan watched the interaction between the four and realized that as close as he and Tara had gotten over the years, she had still held a significant part of herself from him.

Xander who had been rather quiet since arriving at the room and especially quiet since Dylan had arrived stood and motioned for Dawn and Dylan to follow him and give Willow and Tara a moment together.

Willow realized that Tara was holding her, that she was clinging to life because of this woman. The woman who had abandoned her, her mother, her friends, everyone, but in Tara's arms she felt safe.

Tara pulled back from the hug a little and placed a soft kiss on the top of Willow's head. It wasn't done as a romantic gesture, it was done as a comforting gesture.

"Tara," said Willow in a small almost childish voice.

"Yeah Will," answered Tara her eyes meeting Willow's.

"Can we sit on the couch together while I tell you everything?"

"Sure, are you okay to do this now?"

"Yeah, I just have some tough moments," said Willow. "What I have to tell you will be hard for you to hear..."

"I know, but I want to know," said Tara brushing a strand of Willow's hair behind her ear.

Willow and Tara moved to the couch and then Willow called the others back. She asked Dylan to sit next to Tara as well stating that she would probably need his support as well. Dawn and Xander sat across from the trio trying to imagine how this was going to go.

* * *

**TBC...**


	4. Chapter 3 – Disclosure

**Boris Yeltsin:** Something tells me that you may be right that it won't be easy for either!

**Willara4ever:** I'm glad you liked the W/T scene. I felt that they needed a moment of closeness.

**vampyregurl73:** Hooked - YAY! I hope you enjoy the update.

**matash21:** I'm glad you are loving the story. Now that I have the updates synced with my other story - every weekend you should have an update.

**sus:** I know it isn't nice to leave you holding your breath, but it was the best spot for a break. Thanks for following me over here to read the story!

**Shealyn02:** I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this one as well.

* * *

**Feedback:** Pretty please…it helps me improve and if I get stuck it tells me where you would like to see the story go.

_**Authors Notes:**__ Thank you to __**Willara4ever**__ for all your help with this story. Thanks for being the best beta on this and all my published and especially the unpublished stories I have going._

* * *

**Chapter 3 – Disclosure**

"Will, just take your time and if we need to stop we can," said Tara seeing the stress and anxiety on Willow's face and feeling tension coming from Xander and Dawn.

"So, um, starting with the night you left," said Willow swallowing hard and looking down at her hands. "Your Dad decided that your Mom was out of line trying to convince you to stay, he, um he beat her, bad, he almost killed her." Started Willow hearing Tara gasp and seeing Dylan wrap an arm around her. "Xander called me and told me while they were on the way to the hospital. He was doing a ride-along that night to make sure being a paramedic was what he wanted to do."

"It was what made me want to be one more than ever," interjected Xander offering a somber yet supportive look.

"Oh Mama," whispered Tara tears filling her eyes.

Willow continued to tell Tara about her mothers hospital stay, about her recovery, and how close they became within that time. Willow then told Tara about her mom getting the strength and filing for divorce before moving in with Willow.

"Part of why she moved in with me was obviously because we had become so close, but it was also to help me, my parents were both killed in a small plane crash around the same time she was getting out of the hospital," Willow said looking down at her hands. She couldn't meet Tara's gaze. She couldn't see the hurt in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Will," said Tara reaching out toward the redhead, but then pulling back.

"Your Mom and I took care of one another. It, it helped us both a lot. I think it was also a way for us both to hold on to you," said Willow sliding back on the couch a little further knowing that what she was about to tell Tara was going to hurt, but what came after it was going to be even more painful. "Then things went bad. This part is also the 'episode' I had today. I um have flashbacks, some are quite crippling. This one used to be, one of the harder ones. Well, until today it was. It took three years for the divorce to become final, once it did we thought, no we hoped that we were rid of your father. We weren't..." Willow let her gaze drift off as she recounted her episode from earlier in the day, she couldn't watch Tara's reaction. As she told her she could hear Tara gasping and whimpers coming from the blonde. She could also here Dylan trying to comfort her. "After the police left, your mom helped me wipe his blood off my face and body. That was when I had the first mental breakdown. I couldn't leave my room for days fearing that he would be in the living room waiting for me."

"Will," gasped Tara. Dylan was holding her back so that she couldn't engulf the redhead in her arms. He could tell that it would not help either of them. Willow needed to get this out.

Dawn and Xander shared a look knowing that as devastated and guilty Tara felt now it was about to get a whole lot worse.

"It took me about four months before I was able to start being in the house alone. Sarah made sure that if she wasn't there that someone else was. I had to go to court to testify against your dad. That sent me into a backwards spiral, but Sarah stood by me," said Willow a tear rolling down her face thinking about the woman who was more of a mother to her than her own mother had been. "Not long after the trial, just as things started to take on some semblance of normal Sarah started feeling sick. We went to the doctor and found out she had Stage 4 Liver cancer..."

Tears streamed down Tara's face. Xander and Dawn felt bad for her. Dylan wasn't sure how much more his friend could take, she was shaking and having a hard time breathing. He wasn't sure if it was from crying or from the shock of what she was being told.

"Do you need a minute?" asked Willow seeing the anguish in Tara's eyes.

"No, a minute isn't going to help, but thank you," said Tara trying to control the tears streaming down her face.

"We tried to fight the cancer aggressively, but there was nothing that we could do. She made it two years before she passed away. She asked me to give you a letter she wrote if you should ever come back here."

"I don't deserve it," cried Tara and Dylan held her and Willow moved forward and took her hand.

"Tara, she loved you. You were her daughter," said Willow softly.

"I know that is supposed to help, but I'm...I should have been here...I should have helped her..."

"I'm going to give you two a minute together," said Dylan feeling Tara calming down. He got up and walked out of the room. Dawn and Xander followed. They had been silently taking in everything that was going on, the interaction between Tara and Willow and especially Tara and Dylan.

* * *

"So, what your deal? What do you get out of being here with Tara?" asked Xander.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean by either question," said Dylan.

"Well, you and Tara are pretty chummy, and I'm just wondering why and what is in it for you to come down here to 'support' her."

"Tara is my best friend. She was there for me when my wife walked out on me and my 2 year-old son, she was there to help me pick up the pieces of my life. When my son Travis was sick she was there with me, in the hospital, in the doctor's office, and then when he died, she helped me not join him because of the grief and guilt I felt for not being able to do more to help him. He was just a little kid. So what is in it for me? I get to help someone who cares about me no matter what."

"Nice she could be there for you but not for anyone down here," mumbled Dawn bitterly.

"I can't speak for why she stayed away so long or why she didn't write or call. I can only say that she talks about you all daily. She told me stories about growing up with you Xander, about dating and falling in love with Willow. She even told me about you and your sister Buffy."

"Shit, we never called Buffy," said Dawn.

"I think we should ask Willow if she wants us to call her or not," said Xander.

"You wuss, you just don't want Buffy to yell in your ear," said Dawn.

"I'm not stupid," said Xander, causing all three to giggle.

* * *

"He seems really nice," said Willow watching Dylan and the others leave.

"H-He is. We've been though a lot t-together. His wife walked out on him and his son, then his son got really sick and passed away," said Tara.

"That is horrible, kids shouldn't die."

"I agree. Travis was only three. He was so smart and funny. Dylan took it really hard. Although I think that is to be expected from a true parent."

"Wow, I can't imagine" said Willow. She reached in her pocket and pulled out the letter that Tara's mom had asked her to give to Tara. "Um, here is the letter from your mom."

Tara stared at the envelope in the redheads hand. She was afraid to touch it, afraid of what it was going to say. She even found herself afraid of what it wouldn't say.

"You don't have to read it now, but please, she wanted you to have it. If you want, er...um...if it would help, I'll um, I can be there when you read it."

"I'd like that a lot. I think having you there, knowing you were with her at the end will help me be able to read it. Thank you. Do you know what it says? Did she let you read it?"

"No, I just know she wrote it about a day before she died," said Willow handing the letter to Tara. Their hands brush together as Tara took the letter. "Should we let them come back in yet?"

"N-Not yet, if it is okay with you. I'd like another c-couple of minutes with just you. I know you don't believe me, but I have missed you a lot Willow."

"I missed you too," said Willow her green eyes fixed on Tara's blue eyes.

* * *

"Hey Will," said Dawn peaking around the corner.

"Yeah Dawnie," said Willow turning from her gaze towards the brunette.

"We realized that we haven't told Buffy about Tara being back, and we were wondering if you thought we should."

"That is Tara's call, not mine," said Willow. "Tara?"

"What type of a comeback would it be without having Buffy here," Tara said forcing a smile.

"It is okay if you don't want us to call her," said Willow noticing Tara was uncomfortable.

"No, I'm okay with it. She isn't going to beat me up is she?" asked Tara.

"She may intimidate you, but no, she won't hurt you," smiled Willow.

Dawn ducked back around the corner leaving Willow and Tara to their moment. She pulled out her cellphone and dialed Buffy's number.

"Hey Squirt!"

"Buffy you know I hate it when you call me that," said Dawn.

"Yep, and that is why I do it," laughed Buffy.

"Fine, be a snot. Can you come by the hotel?"

"Sure, official or personal business?" asked Buffy.

"Personal. When you get here come up to the 4th floor, Bonsai Suite."

"Okay, I'll be there in about five or ten minutes."

* * *

Everyone came back into the room, Tara excused herself to go to the bathroom to wash her face.

"So, did you reach Buffy?" asked Willow.

"Yeah, she said she'd be over here in about five or ten," said Dawn and then there was a knock on the door. Xander answered it and ushered Buffy in to join the others. Buffy gave Dylan an inquisitive look.

Tara came out of the bathroom and stopped as she entered the room. There was Buffy wearing a sheriff or deputies uniform. Tara took a deep breath and then slowly moved to join the group. Willow's eyes flashed over to her and Buffy turned to see what Willow was looking at.

Buffy stood there staring at the blonde that had just entered the room. She looked familiar, but Buffy couldn't place why. As she continued to look at blonde their eyes met and then Buffy's eyes went wide, she knew in that instant WHO this was. Everyone had been silent, watching as realization dawned for Buffy.

Tara swallowed hard as she saw Buffy recognize her. She looked past Buffy to Willow and then Dylan. Willow got up and started to move forward towards Tara at the same time Buffy did. Buffy reached the blonde first, the room was stunned when they heard the slap and saw Tara's head jerk to one side. Dylan was the first to get to Tara, he knew needed to protect his friend. Moving in-between Buffy and Tara, his back turned towards the newly arrived woman. He pulled Tara into his arms and held her. Willow was right there by Tara's side, she glared at Buffy.

"What the hell was that for?" asked Willow anger coming through in her voice.

"That, that was for the hell that she put us all through. That was for the pain she caused you. She is lucky to have only gotten a slap," Buffy spat out.

"You were out of line Buffy," snapped Dawn.

"Am I the only one that remembers what the last 10 years have been like? What Willow went through?"

"No, but it wasn't your place," said Willow as Dylan pulled back from Tara and allowed Willow an opportunity to see her.

"Who the hell is this anyway?" asked Buffy pointing at Dylan.

"H-h-he's m-my friend and s-support," said Tara.

"Are you okay?" asked Willow.

"I-I will be fine, I endured worse living in my house for years. It just surprised me," replied Tara her eyes looking hard and cold at Buffy before softening and moving to Willow.

"Well, that went well," said Xander letting out an exasperated sigh as he sat down in one of the chairs.

"So, you're back? For how long?" asked Buffy glaring at Tara.

"I'm here for a few days and then I h-have to get back to New York," said Tara flatly.

"Well, in my opinion it can't be soon enough."

"Tara, who the hell is this?" asked Dylan.

"This is Buffy, my sister," answered Dawn coldly.

"Buffy, you don't know what has been going on here," said Willow concerned that Buffy was going to ruin her chance to talk with or at least spend time with Tara.

"I don't care to know either. She hurt you, no, she crushed you. There is no excuse for that," said Buffy. "So Tara, enlighten me as to why you left? Why you couldn't say goodbye or even make contact?"

"Buffy, s-s-stop," said Willow. Xander notice a quiver in Willow's voice and was right over next to her to stabilize her.

"Buffy, she has already had an episode, back off," Dawn said through gritted teeth.

"I'm guessing that it was no thanks to blondie over there."

"Buffy, hate me, whatever, but stop upsetting Willow," said Tara moving over to stand next to Willow.

"What do you honestly care? You abandoned her, you just up and disappeared for 10 years."

"Yes, I left after getting beaten by my brother and father. I left because there was no way I could take another beating, and there was no way that I could hide what they had done to me that night," said Tara moving within inches of Buffy her voice cold as steel. "Do you want to know the full extent of what happened? The full disclosure? Every detail? Will that make YOU happy?"

"Yes, it will help," said Buffy coldly.

"Fine, but Dylan, Willow, will you both please leave. Dawn, Xander I'd prefer you leave too, but it is your choice to stay," said Tara her eyes still locked on Buffy's.

"I'm not leaving," said Willow directly.

"I'm sorry Tara, but I'm with Willow. I'm not going anywhere," said Dylan.

Tara turned to face them both. "Please, I don't know that I can handle either of you hearing this. Knowing these details," said Tara pleading her eyes filling with tears.

"Please, let us stay. Willow and I just want to be here for you," said Dylan and Willow nodded her agreement. "And frankly I don't trust Buffy."

"Fine," said Tara in defeat turning back to face Buffy.

"So, please, tell me what happened. Enlighten me as to why you had to leave like you did. Why it was acceptable to crush the woman you supposedly loved."

"I can't be here for this. Not after knowing what happened to your mom," said Xander as he headed for the door. "Willow, call me later."

"Dawn?" asked Buffy.

"I'm staying," she said glaring at her sister.

"Usually my Dad and Brother hit me where the bruises wouldn't be seen or noticed," started Tara. "That night, something snapped in them both. They were ruthless in their punches. Donnie aimed for my legs, my Dad liked to hit in the middle area. That night though they didn't seem to care where the punches and belts landed."

"Belts," whispered Willow. Dylan moved over and tentatively put his arm around her, helping her to a chair. He sat next to Willow and she took his hand in hers.

Tara couldn't look over at either of them. She kept her eyes locked on Buffy. Pulling up her shirt she showed Buffy four puncture wounds on her left side. "Those marks, the belt buckles they were using went in and two of the four punctured part of my left kidney. I had five broken ribs. One was so bad that had I moved wrong, I would have punctured my lung. My right kidney was severely bruised. My left forearm was fractured, I have scars on my legs from Donnie beating me with the belt. I was knocked down the stairs, you remember the steep ones going to the lower level. I have a five inch scar on the back of my head from hitting the wall, and last but certainly not least, I had a severe concussion."

Buffy was looking at Tara, her eyes filling with tears, she couldn't breathe. Willow and Dawn were crying, both trying not to hyperventilate. Dylan was trying to remain strong, but he couldn't help but cry as well. He knew that when he met Tara something had happened, but she had played it off as a car accident.

"Do you want to feel the scars? Do you want to feel where the ribs were broken and not for the first time and therefore didn't heal properly? What do you want Buffy? Please, now you enlighten me. Tell me what it will take to make you understand? I have pictures, do you want me to send you the pictures?" Tara asked coldly.

Buffy kept opening and closing her mouth, she had no words, no idea what to say, what to do. She looked past Tara and saw Willow being comforted by Dylan and Dawn. She then looked back at Tara.

"Dylan thought I was in a car accident, he helped me as I healed. The nightmares that I had because of that night, he helped me through. When I couldn't leave the house because I was afraid my father or brother would find me, he 'snuck' me out to work. He barely left my side when I needed someone for the first seven months we knew one another. Without him, I would probably not have made it through the depression. So, you wanted to know why I left the way I did and haven't had any contact for 10 years. Does that give you some enlightenment?"

"You could have come to us," whispered Buffy unable to find her full voice.

"No, because my Father and Donnie both knew all about those I hung out with and they threatened to hurt you all if I said a word and they weren't really known for lying about those types of threats," said Tara pulling her shirt back down and staring at the ground.

"Tara," said Willow her voice raspy and shaking. This caused the blonde to turn around and walk over and sit on the table in front of the redhead. "Why did you lie earlier? Why didn't you tell us how bad it was?"

"Because Sweetie, I knew that you had been hurt enough. I didn't want you to know the truth of how bad it was," Tara said softly wiping away the tears streaming down Willow's face.

"Tara, why didn't you ever tell me?" asked Dylan.

"Because, I didn't want you to think less of me or to be my friend out of pity," she answered looking down unable to meet his or Willow's eyes.

"That is where you are a big dummy," said Willow lifting the blondes chin. "We all love you...well I don't know about Buffy, but Dawn, Xander, Dylan, and I, we love you and would never pity you."

"I am so sorry Tara," Buffy finally said. "I don't know how you survived all that."

"I didn't have a choice. I got used to it. I had been beaten by them since I was four," Tara said and then groaned at what she had just revealed and the gasps that had echoed through the room.

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**TBC...**


	5. Chapter 4 - Processing

**Boris Yeltsin:** Yes, her father and brother NEED to pay!

**Willara4ever:** The slap was hard, the telling of the injuries was hard, but both needed to happen.

**Shealyn02:** I'm glad you liked the chapter! Having you in tears is a great compliment to receive. I hope this chapter is a little easier to read. :)

**matash21:** I can too leave it like that - I did it didn't I? LOL I'm glad you liked the chapter and you already knew I was cruel. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**Sus:** Having someone in tears with your writing is a great compliment. I think you will find this chapter lighter. Thanks for all the support!a

* * *

**Feedback:** Pretty please…it helps me improve and if I get stuck it tells me where you would like to see the story go.

_**Authors Notes:**__ Thank you to __**Willara4ever **__for all your help with this story. Thanks for being the best beta on this and all my published and especially the unpublished stories I have going. Thank you to __**matash21**__ for the awesome cover image!_

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**Chapter 4 - Processing**

The room was eerily silent as Tara's recent revelation processed through the group. Tara spent her time in the awkward silence staring down at the ground unable to meet anyone in the rooms eyes. She was ashamed of what she had just revealed. Ashamed of what had happened to her. She could feel their eyes on her. After several minutes of silence Tara abruptly stood and announced that she needed go get some air. When Willow and Dylan both offered to go with her she told them she needed to be alone, she needed time to process things as well. She promised to be back before it was dark and she grabbed her cellphone and headed out the door.

After Tara left the room everyone looked at one another. Dylan felt the most awkward since he had no clue who these people were outside of what Tara had told him. The others were simply in shock.

"Did any of you have any idea or suspect anything about Tara's past?" asked Dawn looking between Buffy and Willow.

"In the ten years I've known her she has told me about you all and that she was in a car accident. I don't even know what to say after what she revealed today," said Dylan his mind spinning.

"Buffy, we've known Tara since kindergarten. How could we have not known that they were hurting her?" asked Willow trying to hold back the tears her heart breaking for the woman she loved so much.

"Like she said they hit her where the bruises wouldn't show," responded Buffy trying to replay their childhood to see if there were signs they missed.

"She always claimed to be clumsy," said Dawn quietly a tear sliding down her cheek.

"Um, Buffy, not to add to this upsetting revelation, but are either of Tara's family members around? Or people that could see and hurt her while she is out there alone and distracted?" asked Dylan.

"Her Dad is in prison for life and her brother, dammit, I think he got out a week or two ago. I think that I should go and follow her or at make sure she isn't alone and that she is safe."

"Why do you have to do it?" asked Dawn.

"Hello, the little badge with the title Sheriff," said Buffy pointing to the badge on her shirt.

"I'm going with you," said Willow standing up.

"No, you are staying put. All we need is for Donnie Maclay to see either you or Tara and it will be all over."

"May I come with you?" asked Dylan.

"No, you three please stay here and wait for us. I think I owe Tara some privacy and apologies."

"Fine," said the three as they sat down in defeat as they were all lost in their own thoughts within seconds.

Buffy grabbed her coat and headed downstairs. When she reached the lobby she saw Sidney was at the desk.

"Hey Sid," said Buffy as she walked up to the desk.

"Hi Buffy. How are you today?" asked Sidney.

"I've had better days. Did you happen to see Tara leave?"

"Yeah, she left a few minutes ago, she seemed really out of it. I tried to talk to her, but it was like she was in a fog. She didn't even acknowledge that I was talking to her."

"She's had a rough day, and I made it harder on her. I really want to talk to her and apologize. Do you know which way she went?"

"Um, she looked to be headed to the town square," said Sidney concern coming through in her voice.

"Great, thank you," said Buffy as she rushed out of the building and headed towards the town square.

_"I don't think that I will ever understand this group," thought Sidney._

* * *

Tara took the elevator to the lobby and walked out not noticing that Sidney was trying to talk to her. She needed to get out of there, get some air, to be able to breathe.

_"Nice job there Tara. You revealed all your well kept secrets. Now every time they look at you it will be with pity for what you endured. Pity for what your Father and Brother put you through. Why did Willow and Dylan have to stay? That makes this whole thing even worse. What are you going to do? How are you ever going to face them again? And WHY does Willow still have to look so damn amazing? You have all those scars and she is still a flawless beauty. She will never want you. Why would she want you? What could you offer her? You screwed up with her by trying to protect her. I bet now that you are here she will have closure she will never want to see you again," thought Tara as she walked down the street._

Tara's mind had become a bit unstable since that night all those years ago, the night that she left home. The night she left everyone she loved and everyone she hated behind. The doctors and therapists she had seen over the years had told her it could be PTSD from what she went through, others said it was the trauma the brain took when she hit the wall. Either way, something wasn't right inside her. She knew this, she felt it deep down inside. This is one of the reasons she had never dated after leaving Willow. That and she loved the girl still to this day and it wouldn't be fair to lead someone to believe they could have her heart, Tara knew she would never subject Willow to whatever is wrong inside her mind.

Tara neared the town square. She was in awe of the beauty of the square. There were four small white gazebos placed at each corner and one large white one in the center of the square. The pathways connecting the gazebos were lined with flowers and outdoor lights. It was nice to see that the town cared about its appearance.

Moving into the square Tara spotted a bench that was empty and out-of-the-way, hidden by some trees. She made her way over to the bench and sat down. She was able to see the full square from there. As she scanned the square she saw two familiar faces, one she wasn't surprised to see. Buffy had followed her, deep in the back of her mind she had expected someone to follow her, to come talk to her. The second face, that one disturbed her and sent an ice-cold chill down her spine. Standing not 40 feet from her was her tormentor, the star of her nightmares, her brother Donnie. Tara watched him, saw him scanning the area and the people in the area. She suspected it was to find someone to rob, he had that look about him. As she watched him Buffy came and sat on the bench next to her.

"You know, if you keep staring at him he is going to notice you," said Buffy nonchalantly.

"I can't help but stare. His face has haunted me for so many years. Years growing up, years as an adult, he and my father robbed me of so much."

"I wish we would have known Tara. I know that they threatened our safety, but I still wish we would have known."

"How did you know where to find me? Or did you follow me out of the door?" asked Tara still watching Donnie out of the corner of her eye.

"Dylan asked if Donnie or your Father were out and if you would run the risk of running into them. He's a pretty smart guy. I realized Donnie was let out of jail a couple of weeks ago, so I decided I would either follow you or just walk next to you as protection and I wanted to talk with you alone. When I got downstairs Sidney told me what direction you went in. I guessed that you were in zombieland and you would probably end up here."

"I think Sidney was trying to talk to me as I left," said Tara with a small laugh.

"She seems to have taken an interest in you. And she was trying to talk to you. She better watch it though, I don't believe she is the ONLY person that has taken an interest in you," Buffy said with a smile.

"Dylan and I are just friends Buffy. He dates girls, so do I. It wouldn't work between us."

"He wasn't who I was refering to, but yeah, I can see he cares very deeply for you."

"Then who were you talking about?" asked Tara confused.

"Duh, Willow," said Buffy.

"Buffy that wasn't interest you saw from her, that was pity you saw from her. I hurt her so badly, I don't deserve the time of day from her."

"And yet, here you are. What did make you come back here anyway?"

"I have been given the opportunity to have several pieces of artwork and photographs shown in an art show, but in order for me to show the photographs I needed to get release forms signed by Dawn, Xander, and Willow. I knew if I mailed them that they would just toss them, so I came down to beg and plead with them in person. I wasn't sure I was going to find anyone still here, but I knew I had to try."

"Congratulations," said Buffy. "How many pieces are you showing?"

"I have 4 paintings and 4 photographs. The photograph of Willow is Lillian's favorite."

"Who is Lillian?" asked Buffy raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry, she is the curator of the gallery Dylan and I work for and she is the one that is sponsoring me in the showing."

"Wow, a gallery curator sponsoring you, not to shabby," laughed Buffy. "Listen, I want to say I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have slapped you."

"I deserved it, I didn't expect it from YOU, but I deserved it," said Tara still able to feel a slight burn on her cheek.

"No, you didn't. I appreciate you trying to make me feel better though."

"So, how long have you been the Sheriff?"

"About four years. After what went on with your Mom and Willow, I wanted to make a difference and keep scum from hurting innocent people."

"That is awesome Buffy. I am certain you will help a lot of people."

Donnie moved closer to where Buffy and Tara were sitting, Buffy noticing this was hoping that he would see her uniform and leave. Tara was looking down at the ground when Donnie looked over and saw Buffy watching him. He knew that if he got caught again he was facing the 3-strikes law and he was going to jail for life. He wasn't willing to let that happen over some petty theft. Donnie quickly left the square.

"She never stopped loving you," said Buffy turning to face Tara.

"I never stopped loving her," admitted Tara looking down at her hands in her lap.

"I'm sure you don't know this but your mom had a private investigator track you down and Willow went to New York City to see you," said Buffy.

"My mom did what? And Willow went where?" Tara asked as the wind left her body.

"I'm not supposed to know, but I overheard them talking one day. As your mom's time was getting short she hired someone to find you. She needed to know that you were alive and safe before she died. When you were found Willow had to see you, she didn't believe what the guy said nor did she believe the pictures he took. So, she went there to see for herself."

"Why didn't she say anything? Or even let me know that she was there?"

"She had promised your mom that she wouldn't let you know that she was there. That is the same reason that even though she knew where you were she kept a letter from your mom to give to you should you ever come home. Willow loved and respected your mom a lot."

"I don't know what to say," said Tara shocked by what Buffy had just revealed. "I can't imagine that Willow was that close and I didn't know and she didn't say anything. If I were her I would have tried to convince me to come back home."

"That wasn't what your mother wanted. Tara you were safe and from what I overheard it sounded like you were happy. That is what your mom wanted most for you."

"Still, I am just, wow, she was in New York? Really?" asked Tara trying to wrap her head around the idea that Willow was that close.

"Here is an idea, feel free to say no, but how about we go back to the hotel because everyone is probably freaking out worried about you. I thought I was going to have to fight Willow and Dylan when I told them I was coming alone to talk to you. Once we get back to the hotel I'll call Xander and we can all go out to eat? Or, if you would rather stay in we can do what we did as teens and order pizza and have a co-ed slumber party in my living room."

"Really Buffy? You want to have a co-ed slumber party in your living room?"

"Why not? Are you too good to do that now?"

"No, not at all. Let's go see what the others have to say. I think after how the day has gone I would prefer to stay in," said Tara as they got up from the bench and started to head back to the hotel.

Once they made it back to the hotel Buffy called the station from one of the hotel house phones quickly to have them go and find Donnie Maclay and keep tabs on him, she told them he was acting suspicious. What she didn't tell them was that she wanted him watched so that should he find out that Tara was in town that she was safe.

While Buffy was on the phone Sidney came over to flirt with Tara. Buffy seeing this sent a text to Dawn to send Willow down.

"You seem to have caused quite a stir here," said Sidney moving closer to Tara.

"It wasn't intentional," said Tara looking towards Buffy quick and seeing she was still on the phone.

"I'm sure it is all very overwhelming! Would you like to go out for a drink later? I am a great listener. I get done here around 8. There are some really nice bars in the area. Or we could go back to my place," flirted Sidney reaching for Tara's hand.

Tara feeling very uncomfortable was trying to come up with a way to say no to the woman when she felt arms wrapped her arms around her waist from behind. Tara knew instantly who it was from the feel of the arms and the breath on her neck. Tara leaned into the embrace, she had missed being held. Most of all though she had missed being held by Willow.

"Hey gorgeous," Willow said holding Tara close and resting her chin on the blondes shoulder. "I was starting to worry about you. Do you feel better now that you got some air?"

Tara couldn't answer, she was afraid she would start to cry if she tried. She nodded and felt Willow place a soft kiss on her neck that caused her eyes to close involuntarily.

Sidney watching this looked between the two woman before making her way back to the front desk.

Buffy strolled over and leaned smiling towards Sidney, "they go WAY back. Just some friendly advice; you might not want to hit on Tara, Willow is the jealous type."

"I didn't know. Plus, everyone has always said Willow was single," said Sidney softly.

"She was or is, but that is because Tara left," said Buffy a smile growing on her face as she watched the two enjoying the closeness.

"I didn't know," said Sidney watching Buffy walk back over to the other two women.

"Jealous much there Will," Buffy said quietly giggling at the two women.

"Shush," said Willow trying to scowl and not laugh at Buffy.

Tara just smiled and turned in Willow's arms to face the redhead and she wrapped her arms around Willow's neck and held her close. Tara's eyes closed as she enjoyed the embrace and the closeness she felt with Willow.

Buffy glanced over and saw a smile on Sidney's face as she shook her head and watched the two. This was a side of Willow that Sidney had never seen, but Willow with Tara it seemed very natural.

"I've missed you so much," Tara whispered into Willow's ear.

"I've missed you too," said Willow feeling Tara pull her even closer.

"Alright enough sappy stuff, let's go back upstairs," said Buffy interrupting the moment between Willow and Tara.

The two women pulled out of there hug, but stayed very close to one another.

They walked back into the room and Tara saw Dylan physically let out a breath as soon as he saw the blonde.

"Feel better?" asked Dawn relieved to have Tara back at the hotel.

"Much," said Tara a smile growing across her face. "Although I think Willow may have broken Sidney."

"What did you do Will? I just got her broken in..." whined Dawn looking at the redhead.

"Sidney was hitting on Tara which is why I had you send Willow down. Well Willow came in and got all cuddly with Tara squashing Sid's dreams of ever getting a date," giggled Buffy, causing Willow and Tara to blush a deep shade of red while Dawn and Dylan to laugh.

"Gee Will, I never knew you were so territorial," teased Dawn.

"Hey technically Tara and I never broke up, so really she is still mine and Sid needed to be shown that," said Willow sticking her tongue out at the younger girl this also caused Tara to blush an even deeper shade of red.

"Gee Tara, I don't think I've ever seen you turn THAT shade of red before," laughed Dylan as he snapped a picture of her.

"Delete that picture Pellot," said Tara sternly looking at the man who was shaking his head no.

"Never, and I have emailed it to work so if you delete it from my phone I still have a copy."

"Ass," mumbled Tara causing Willow to laugh.

"What are you laughing at?" Tara asked Willow cocking an eyebrow towards the redhead.

"I'm sorry but the last time you were that shade of red wa…" started Willow before Tara put her hand over the redheads mouth.

"I know when and you will NOT mention that." Tara knew that Willow was thinking about the time they went skinny dipping at Old Miller Pond and were making out in the middle of the pond when Old Man Miller came up and started talking to them.

"Willow, I'd be happy to protect you if you want to divulge the story," said Dawn and Dylan nodded his agreement.

Looking deep into Tara's eyes the redhead felt her heart start to race. "Sorry guys, I have to respect Tara's wishes and keep this just between her and I." Willow winked at Tara causing the blonde to give her the patented Tara lopsided smile.

"Okay, now that we are done with embarrassing Willow and Tara. While Tara and I were out I suggested that we call Xander and all of us are go over to my house and having one of are co-ed slumber parties. Pizza, movies, pool..."

"Are you sure?" asked Willow looking at Buffy.

"Yep, now Tara and Dylan grab what you are going to need for tonight and let's go," said Buffy. "Will, I still have your spare bag at the house unless you want to stop by your place."

"Nah, I'll just use what I have there," said Willow watching as Tara and Dylan grabbed a couple of things. Willow saw Tara pack the letter that she had given her earlier. After they had their stuff together the group headed out for Buffy's house.

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**TBC...**


	6. Chapter 5 - 2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

**Boris Yeltsin:** Things are not always what they seem...and sometimes they are. Helpful isn't it?!

**matash21:** It is sweet to see them back together again...how long will it last indeed.

**Willara4ever:** I'm glad you like the chapter. Enjoy the tweaks I made in this one.

**JustJane18:** Glad you got caught up! I'm trying something new with the angst - I'm glad it is working out. Stick around, the backstories are coming - eventually.

**Suzi:** Thank you for being so supportive of both of my stories! Enjoy the update.

* * *

**Feedback:** Pretty please…it helps me improve and if I get stuck it tells me where you would like to see the story go.

_**Authors Notes: **__Thank you to __**Willara4ever**__ for all your help with this story. Thanks for being the best beta on this and all my published and especially the unpublished stories I have going. Thank you to __**matash21**__ for the awesome cover image!_

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**Chapter 5 - Two Steps Forward, One Step Back**

Once the group arrived at Buffy's house Buffy called Xander and he said he'd be right over. He was never one to pass up free pizza or being outnumbered by 'hot women'. While Buffy called Xander and ordered the pizza the rest of the group adjusted the living room so they were all going to have a spot on the floor.

"Hey Tara, um, are you sure you will be okay sitting and/or laying on the floor? What about your back and ribs?" asked Dylan quietly, but not quite quiet enough and Willow overheard him.

"What does he mean about your back and ribs?" asked Willow concern etched on her face.

"I will be fine," Tara said to Dylan and then turning to Willow and taking her hand. "Sweetie, I sometimes have a problem with hard floors, beds, and chairs. It is from the way the ribs healed and my then back starts to hurt from compensating at times as well. I will be fine though. Please, trust me. Both of you."

Willow's eyes filled with tears but she fought to keep them from spilling over. What this woman had overcome and still yet she was reminded of the bad.

"Will, this is why I wanted you and Dylan to leave before I told Buffy anything. I didn't want you guys looking at me with pity. I don't want you to treat me differently," said Tara looking at both Willow and Dylan. She was fighting the tears, she knew this was going to happen if they found out the truth. Why hadn't she been more insistent in them leaving?

"Hey, there is no pity here. I've known you since we were five. I still remember in school Xander stealing and breaking my yellow crayon and you giving me yours to use. We go back too far for there to be pity," said Willow.

"I agree with Willow on the no pity part. Honestly, Tara. Why would I pity you if you don't pity me for what I have been through in the 10 years you've known me? Or for what I wanted to do when Travis died? I love you. You are my best friend and I just don't like to see you hurting. I will never pity you or think less of you for what you have gone through because you had no control over it," said Dylan.

"Fine. How about this, I will let you both know if it gets to be too much. How is that? Fair?"

"Fair," said both Willow and Dylan together. They each were planning to be extra attentive to the blonde to make sure that she didn't put herself in pain.

"Alright, dinner will be here in 30 minutes or less. Well, that is what they said at least," said Buffy entering the room followed by Xander. "Everyone find a seat."

Willow grabbed two large floor pillows and a comforter. "Wanna share?" Willow asked Tara.

"Are you sure Willow? I don't want to make things harder for you or cause you to have another episode."

"Telling you about things earlier I can tell actually helped me just like Dr. Scott had said it would. I'm hoping that maybe this will help me some more," said Willow offering a hesitant smile.

"Then who am I to say no to sharing with you," said Tara giving the redhead a lopsided smile.

Willow placed the pillows and took a seat on the one to left of where Tara was. Dylan took a seat on the right of where Tara was leaving the blonde in the center of them. She felt safe, secure. Seeing Donnie earlier had caused her anxiety to rise and her fear and panic to become more pronounced. This though, this was nice and would help.

Just as everyone got situated the doorbell rang and Buffy jumped up to get the pizzas. Dawn went with to help. Once they returned Willow put in the movie. They had decided on _'The Adjustment Bureau'_ for the first movie while they ate. Once the movie started they passed the pizza's around and everybody chose what they wanted.

"Alright, now someone is going to have to explain this movie to me," said Buffy even though the movie was two minutes in.

"None of us have seen it Buff," said Willow. "Unless, Tara, have you two seen it?"

"Dylan and I rented it twice and we both fell asleep about 15 minutes in," said Tara.

"I blame you for that," said Dylan chuckling at Tara.

"Me, what the hell did I do?" asked Tara.

"I seem to recall you had spiked the drinks both times."

"Oh yeah, oops," giggled Tara giving him a sheepish look as the others laughed at their interaction.

"Where did you learn to mix drinks anyways?" asked Dylan.

"Buffy," Tara said pointing at the other blonde.

"Hey! We learned together," said Buffy sticking her tongue out at Tara.

Willow was watching the interaction between Tara and Dylan and it pulled at something deep inside her. She missed that connection with Tara, she missed feeling the closeness. She had been back in her life for less than 12 hours and Willow could feel her insides craving more time and closeness with this amazing woman. _"If she leaves in a couple of days, I don't know what I'll do. She is still my everything," thought Willow._

As the movie progressed Willow and Tara had stretched out on the floor pillows. Shortly after laying down they found themselves both laying under the comforter that Willow had snagged before anyone else could get it. What they didn't seem to notice were the quick glances that the others in the room were giving them. Especially the looks from Dylan.

Dylan couldn't help but notice how relaxed Tara was when Willow was close to her. He was seeing a side of her that he had never seen before. It was a side that he had always hoped to see. Tara, relaxed, happy, and in love. It was something that made him truly happy for her and angry at her father and brother for robbing Willow and Tara of their serenity.

Buffy, Xander, and Dawn were also watching the two women hoping that Tara could help Willow begin to heal. And from what they learned about Tara and her past they were hopeful that Willow could help Tara begin to heal as well.

As the movie ended Willow called for a bathroom break. She bounce over the bodies littering the floor. Tara was right behind her followed by Xander and Dawn. Buffy and Dylan took the opportunity to clean up the living room from dinner.

"Buffy, I want to thank you for including me," said Dylan while they were in the kitchen.

"Even though I didn't show it initially, Tara is very important to me and well, us. And since you are important to Tara, we want to get to know you. Tara was never one to choose her friends lightly or at least not without serious thought. Even when we were in grade school she was very particular about WHO she was friends with."

"Well, I appreciate it. And you are right, Tara is very important to me. I am wondering one thing though."

"What's that?" asked Buffy.

"Tara, when Willow is present seems..."

"More at ease? More serene?" finished Buffy.

"Yeah, exactly."

"They have always been like that. We all noticed it even before they were a couple. They always managed to calm one another down."

"I was afraid I was just reading more into things."

"No, you weren't."

With the cleanup completed and the bathroom breaks done they settled back into their spots. Dawn had turned the lights down, and they were ready for the next movie.

"Alright, Tara's choice," said Xander. "We have _'Now You See Me' _ or _'The Illusionist'?_

"There is no contest – they both are awesome, but it has to be _'Now You See Me'_ without a doubt."

"You just want to gawk over the redhead," teased Dylan.

"What can I say, I have a weakness for hot redheads," said Tara, involuntarily glancing at Willow and causing the room to erupt into laughter. Willow was glad the lights were turned down so nobody couldn't see her deep blush.

"There are so many comments that come to mind," laughed Xander. "So many ways that could be taken."

"Shut it," said Willow glaring and the dark-haired man.

"Movie time," said Tara still blushing as her mind quickly came up with some of those comments that Xander was holding back.

As the movie started Willow and Tara got comfortable, they subconsciously moved closer to one another. Tara could smell the faint scent of strawberries coming from Willow. She had missed that smell over the years.

"You okay?" whispered Willow noticing that Tara wasn't watching the movie.

"Yeah, I-I just never thought I'd be here with any of you. Most of all, I never thought I'd be near you again," whispered Tara.

"I never thought I'd see or be near you again either," whispered Willow as a tear rolled down her face and she quickly wiped it away.

"Let's watch the movie, but maybe tomorrow we can spend some time together?" asked Tara. "Just us?"

"I'd like that a lot."

They went back to watching the movie both smiling inside. When the movie ended, Xander announced he was exhausted and went to sleep on the couch in the den. Dylan was shown to one of the guest bedroom upstairs. Dawn took the other guest room.

"We're going to watch another movie. We'll crash down here," said Willow receiving a head nod from Tara.

"Fine, but you at least have to use the air mattress," said Buffy.

"I don't want to be any trouble Buffy. Really it isn't necessary," said Tara.

"You aren't, now shush and let me do this. Please?!"

Buffy went downstairs and got the air mattress and pump then she blew the mattress up in the living room and put some sheets and blankets on it for Tara while Willow made a bed on the couch.

"Alright, goodnight you two," said Buffy smiling to herself as she started up the stairs.

"Night Buffy," they responded.

* * *

"Hey Willow, would you still sit by me until we're ready to sleep? I really think that it helps me," said Tara.

"I think it helps me too," smiled Willow.

They were sitting on the air mattress watching the movie, but as it got later and their eyes started to droop they lay down and continued to try to watch the movie. Neither noticing that the other was falling asleep. As they slept out of instinct their bodies were drawn together and Willow ended up behind Tara. Her body pressed against Tara's. One arm draped over the blonde's waist holding her close.

* * *

"_Girl, where the hell have you been?" asked her father anger oozing from his voice._

"_I-I was out with m-my friends," said 7-year-old Tara as she cautiously entered the house._

"_Did you get your chores done?"_

"_N-no sir. I came h-home to do them n-now."_

"_Well, now is too late. I am already home and you know that chores are always to be done BEFORE I get home," he said his voice rising._

"_I'm s-sorry sir, it w-will not happen a-again," cried Tara fearing her father's anger._

"_You are right it won't happen again. We are going to have to punish you for this. After you complete your chores."_

"_Y-y-yes s-s-sir," stuttered Tara._

"_Well, go get your chores done. And be quick about it," her father yelled._

_Tara ran off and cleaned the bathroom. She scrubbed the toilet, the tub, the sink, the floors, she polished the mirror making sure every smudge was removed. After that she moved to the laundry and started her father and brothers clothes as they were not allowed to be washed with hers and her mothers. While the laundry was washing she ironed her fathers shirts and hung them with the proper spacing. Two of her fingers in-between each hanger. She remembered the one time she didn't space them properly and her father told her that he would use the belt to make sure that she would never forget and be more careful going forward. Dread set in as she feared he would use the belt again today. The belt marks were always the hardest to hide. Tara heard the washer finish and moved the clothes from the washer to the dryer. She knew that her mother would fold them after she got home. Then she remembered that she wasn't going to be home tonight and Tara was going to have to fold them herself. She was going to have to remember the exact steps her mother had taught her in folding._

"_Sir, I have f-finished my set chores, and will complete Mama's f-folding once the clothes in the d-dryer are done. Is t-there anything else that you would like m-me to take care of?" asked Tara timidly hoping for more to prolong the time before she had to face her punishment._

"_No, now it is time for your punishment. Afterwards you will still complete the folding," he said with a smile. "Donnie, please come in here."_

"_Yes Father?" asked Donnie innocently. He loved it when his father yelled at his sister._

"_Your sister needs to be punished for not doing her chores before I got home as she knew she was supposed to have done. I would like you to watch and learn the proper way to punish her. It will be both of our responsibility to make sure that Tara and your mother stay in line and know their place in this household."_

"_Yes sir," Donnie said eager to learn from his father, to have the control and power._

_Donald took out two wood paddles and handed one to his son. Tara felt fear well up inside her. She barely survived her father hitting her with the paddle the last time, now her brother and her father were going to use it on her. She was sure she was going to die from the pain. _

"_Tara, you know what you are supposed to do."_

"_Y-yes s-s-sir," said Tara as she moved over to the chair that had been placed in the middle of the room and leaned over the arm so that her butt was in the air and the back of her legs exposed._

"_Now son, you can't use all your strength, that will leave marks that we don't want to have to explain. Watch me and then I am going to have you practice on the pillow I have set up on the couch. The next time we have to punish your sister you will be prepared."_

"_Yes sir," said Donnie eagerly trying to contain the excitement that had welled up inside him since he had heard his father start yelling at his sister._

_Tara gritted her teeth and waited for the pain to start. Her father pulled back and swung and the paddle made contact and Tara felt and explosion of pain through her upper thighs and butt, but she didn't cry out. Tara had learned that by crying out you were made to endure more pain until you stopped crying out._

"_Like this?" asked Donnie as he swung and hit the pillow with all his might._

"_No, like this," said her father as he again swung and hit her again._

* * *

Tara was whimpering in her sleep, and twitching enough that she woke Willow. As Willow tried to figure out what it was that woke her she heard Tara cry out softly once and then again. Willow reached over to touch Tara, to wake her from the nightmare she was having. A her hand made contact with Tara's hip Tara cried out a loud 'NO' before she bolted from the bed and into the corner. She was crouching down in a ball trying to make herself as small as she could. She kept repeating "no more, please no more…" over and over the shaking becoming greater with each second that passed.

Dylan had heard Tara cry out and was out of bed and headed down the stairs in a heartbeat. When he got to the bottom of the stairs he saw Tara cowering in the corner and Willow moving towards her slowly talking to her as she moved closer.

"Please, no more...please...oh please no more," Tara was now repeating as tears streamed down her face and she looked frantically around the room never seeing where she really was.

"Tara, baby, it's me, Willow. You are okay. You are safe in Buffy's house," repeated Willow as she moved closer.

"What happened?" asked Dylan startling the redhead.

"I think she had a nightmare. When I woke up she was twitching and whimpering in her sleep and then when I put my hand on her hip to wake her. That was when she cried out and ran and started to cower in the corner."

"Crap, she hasn't had one of these in a while. And definitely not one this bad," said Dylan. "Keep talking to her, if your voice wasn't soothing the whole house would know by now."

Willow nodded and turned her attention back to Tara.

"Tara, baby? Look at me Sweetheart. It's me Willow," she started. Tara continued to cower, tears flowing faster and her breathing becoming more labored.

"Tara, honey, it's me, Dylan. I know you are scared, I know you don't know what is real and what isn't. Please, come back to me. Willow is here and you are scaring her. Come back to us…"

"No, Willow has to be protected. If my father finds out about us he'll kill her. He told me he would kill her slowly and painfully. He will let Donnie help in her torture. I have to protect Willow no matter what," muttered Tara her eyes frantically shifting from side to side.

"Tara, it's me, Dylan," said the raven haired man.

"Dylan, you have to protect Willow. Please, don't let them get her. I can't live in a world without her in it."

"Tara, honey. Look at me," said Dylan now standing next to Willow only four feet from where Tara was at.

What Willow and Dylan hadn't noticed is that the others had heard them and were standing at the edge of the room watching the events unfold. Dawn's heart was breaking seeing Tara looking so frail and vulnerable. Xander was at a loss at what he was seeing and hearing. Buffy's fists clenched as anger and hatred rose within her.

"Tara, I'm right here. Dylan is here with me," said Willow softly.

"Willow, no, you can't be here. Y-you have to hide. If they see you here they'll use the paddles again. It hurts so much when Daddy let's Donnie do the punishment. Please, don't let them catch you here," said the blonde incoherently. Tara started to move down the wall towards the stairs. Crawling on her hands and knees looking around frantically. Tara quickly bolted across the room hurdling the coffee table and air mattress to cower in another corner.

Everyone in the room felt their breath catch as she moved so feral like. Dawn and Buffy now clung to one another and Xander held on to them both.

"Tara baby, where is your mom?" asked Willow panic rising within her and starting to impact her voice.

"She had to go to Florida to sell Grandma and Grandpa's house. She is going to be gone for four whole days. Please don't tell her I was naughty and forgot to do my chores. I don't want her mad at me as well."

"Her mom went to Florida when we were about 7 or 8 to sell her parents house," Willow turned and told Dylan.

They advanced another couple of steps and were now within a foot of the trembling blonde. Willow reached out and took Tara's hand. She held it tight as Tara tried to pull it away. Her breathing getting more labored. Xander was afraid she was going to pass out she was borderline hyperventilating and hysterical.

"Tara, my love. Look at me. See me. Really see who I am. Come back to me baby," Willow cried as she pulled Tara's hand to her face and let her feel her cheek. Then Willow kissed Tara's hand. Tara pulled away again and was trying to find a way to escape from where she was now trapped with the wall behind her and Dylan and Willow directly in front of her.

"Come on baby. Listen to my voice," Willow cried.

"Tara, come on...you've beaten this before, you can beat it again. Don't let them win. Don't let them take you away from us," said Dylan trying to keep his voice under control. "I'm right here with Willow. She's safe honey, but she needs you to come back to us. Please…"

"W-willow?" asked Tara in a timid almost little kid sounding voice.

"Yeah baby. I'm right here," said Willow as she took Tara's hand and pulled the blonde forward into her arms and held her close as the blonde started to cry again.

Dylan finally noticing the others motioned for them to leave the room so as not to frighten or embarrass Tara more. He then sat down in the corner that Tara had been crouched in and pulled both women into his arms. He wanted them both to feel safe and secure.

"Dylan," whispered Tara looking up at him.

"Hey pretty lady. Welcome back."

"Was it bad?" asked Tara.

"Yes, but we've dealt with much have Willow to thank really. Had Willow not been so close this one had the potential of getting really bad."

"Willow," cried Tara. "Oh god. You weren't supposed to see that. You aren't supposed to know how damaged I am."

"Baby," said Willow cupping Tara's face in her hands. "Oh, my sweet. We're all damaged in some way."

"N-no, n-not like this, not like me. I-I-I d-don't k-know h-how to fix m-me," sniffled Tara and tried to pull away but Willow wouldn't let her. "They have t-tried and they c-can't. I am so broken."

"Willow is right Tara, you aren't any more damaged than the rest of us. We still love you," said Dylan hugging the blonde close.

"He's right, we love you no matter what," said Willow pulling Tara into a hug and holding her tight.

"You came back to us Tara. That right there shows that you aren't so broken that there isn't hope. You haven't had one of these in a couple of years. Do you remember the dream?" asked Dylan.

Tara nodded that she did indeed remember the dream that she had been having. She felt the pain from the dream radiate through her body.

"You were trying to protect me," said Willow.

"I always t-try to protect you. I can't live in a world without you," said Tara looking Willow in the eyes.

"Are you ready for some water?" asked Dylan receiving a small nod from Tara.

Willow helped Tara stand and move back over to the air mattress as Dylan went into the kitchen. Dylan quickly returned with a large glass of water.

"Drink it all, please," he said to her in a soft and soothing tone before turning to Willow. "We found that her nerves calm down quicker when she drinks a full glass of water. She gets so dehydrated during those things."

"Do you have these often?" asked Willow.

"W-when I first left I had t-them almost nightly. I don't k-know how many times Dylan f-found me cowering in a corner or hiding under a desk. Over the years they have gotten better at controlling them. I would say now I get one every other month depending on my stress level."

"I'm sure being here with us and seeing Donnie was enough stress to it triggered it. Did you ever try seeing someone about the trauma and nightmares?"

"Yeah, I saw someone for a while. She told me the PTSD would be with me for the rest of my life. There will be periods where it isn't bad, but it will only take one stressful day or situation to cause it to come back. I saw another guy who told me it was from damage within the brain from the years of abuse and the fall."

"Baby, I'm so sorry," Willow said wrapping her arms around Tara again almost knocking the glass of water out of the blondes hand.

"Tara, honey, finish the water," said Dylan pointing at the glass in her hand. Tara looked down and brought the glass back up to her lips and finished the remainder before handing the glass back to Dylan. "Do you want some more?"

"No. Thank you both. I'm sorry for waking you and being such a burden," Tara said casting her eyes down as she pulled away from them slightly. She was so ashamed at what had happened and that Willow of all people had seen it.

"You are never a burden. We love you," said Dylan.

"You can go back to bed, I'm okay now," Tara told Dylan.

"I'll be here to look after her and I know if I need you that you're just up the stairs," said Willow wrapping her arms around Tara and holding her tight as she tried to pull away.

"Alright, but only if you promise that you aren't trying to just get rid of me. Promise that you are really okay now," said Dylan seeing Tara smile as she reached out and squeezed his hand. "Good night," he said as he leaned over and kissed the top of Tara's head and squeezed Willow's hand.

Once he had gone to bed Willow coaxed Tara into laying back down on the air mattress with her and Willow pulled Tara into her arms and held her tightly.

"You sleep my sweet. You are safe in my arms. I won't let anything happen to you," said Willow kissing Tara's forehead and rubbing her back.

"Willow, are you sure you want me laying close? What if I have another nightmare?"

"You won't. I told you I am going to be right here holding you. I won't let anything happen to you."

"You need sleep too," Tara said.

"I will meet you in our dreams. Say at Old Miller Pond for some secret skinny dipping?" said Willow causing Tara to smile and move her body even closer. After a while the blonde drifted to sleep. Silent tears fell down Willow's face as she watched Tara sleep and before sleep overtook her as well.

* * *

**TBC...**


	7. Chapter 6 - Familiar Places

**matash21:** Enjoy your weekly dose! Life is full of ups and downs...so is this story.

**Willara4ever:** It was an emotional chapter, but what Tara has been through has to have had an impact on her.

**bluepaintbox:** I'm happy to hear you are liking the story more and more!

**Suzi:** There had to be some detail to give the story the extra impact. I cannot comment on Dylan and if he is that good of a guy or not...I also can't tell you where it is going - I haven't decided on that fully yet.

* * *

**Feedback:** Pretty please…it helps me improve and if I get stuck it tells me where you would like to see the story go.

_**Authors Notes: **__Thank you to __**Willara4ever**__ for all your help with this story. Thanks for being the best beta on this and all my published and especially the unpublished stories I have going. Thank you to __**matash21**__for the awesome cover image!_

* * *

**Chapter 6 - Familiar Places**

The next morning Buffy awoke early and quietly walked down the stairs and found Willow and Tara cuddled up together on the air mattress and she had a flashback of seeing them like that before Tara had left. She was always amazed at how they always seemed to calm the other down. Dawn and Dylan had heard her pass their room and came down quietly behind her. They stopped and smiled when they saw the way Willow and Tara were curled up together. Buffy motioned for them to follow her into the kitchen so they didn't wake the two.

"Were they always that cute together?" asked Dylan motioning back towards the living room.

"Yes," said both Dawn and Buffy together as smiles crept across their faces.

"I love what Tara has brought to my life, but I would give it all away for the opportunity to throttle her father and brother for what they did to her, and also for causing those two to separate. I've watched her sleep for the past 10 years and she has NEVER looked so content. Especially after having a nightmare like she had last night."

"I have to say that Willow hasn't looked that relaxed in years either," said Dawn sitting down at the island.

"Are we discussing coffee? Or could we be discussing coffee," asked Xander as he entered the kitchen.

"No, we were discussing how cute and relaxed Willow and Tara look holding one another," said Buffy.

"Oh, yeah that was adorable when I walked passed. So, coffee?"

"Xander, you know the moment that Willow smells the coffee she will be up and in here, right?" asked Dawn looking at the dark-haired man.

* * *

Slowly Willow started to wake up. As she was becoming alert of her surroundings she felt the warmth of someone's breath on her neck, the pressure of an arm draped across her body, and the warmth of someone whom her arm was draped across. Her mind fluttered back to the events of the previous day. The hurt and excitement of seeing Tara. The anger of finding out why she left and her nightmare. Looking towards the blonde Willow couldn't help but smile.

Tara started to stir and when she opened her eyes she saw Willow's sparkling green eyes, and the redhead smiling at her. She had to think for a moment to make sure that this wasn't a dream.

"Good morning," said Willow softly.

"Good m-morning," said Tara shyly as she started to pull away from the redhead's embrace only to have her movement halted and the redhead held her tighter to her body.

"Please, don't move yet," whispered Willow. "I've spent so many years dreaming of holding you again that I selfishly don't want this to end."

"I've dreamt of waking up in your arms so often that I wasn't sure if I was still dreaming or not," said Tara her cheeks turning pink.

"How are you doing after last night?"

"Physically or mentally?"

"Both," said Willow smiling at Tara.

"Physically I'm still a little shaken. And mentally, I'm embarrassed, annoyed, and unsure about what was and wasn't real," Tara answered honestly. "Reality and fantasy mesh and it takes a while for me to sort it all out."

"Are the nightmares always that like that? Well, that intense. Or did I make it worse because I touched you before you were fully awake?" asked Willow averting her eyes and then looked down.

"Last night I think was worse because of seeing Donnie, reliving what happened causing me to leave, and the guilt of what happened to you because of me. I don't know if you touching me before I was fully awake had an impact on it. You can't blame yourself for touching me, you had no clue what was going on," Tara said as she lifted Willow's head up to look her in the eyes.

"Tara, you have nothing to feel guilty about," said Willow holding eye contact with the blonde.

"I feel as though I do. My mother was hurt because of my leaving. You, you were traumatized because of me. Not to mention just hurting you in general by leaving," Tara said as tears started to stream out of her eyes.

Pulling Tara into an embrace, Willow placed a kiss on the top of Tara's head. "Sweetie, you could not control what they did or the choices that your father and brother made. I will admit I was livid with you for leaving, but after hearing why you left...baby, I am so amazed by your strength."

"Willow, are you sure it wasn't just me being a coward?"

"I'm positive that it wasn't you being a coward. Are you ready to get up and face everyone? I can hear people in the kitchen."

"Yes to getting up. Does everyone know what happened last night?"

"Yeah, they all came downstairs, but Dylan shoo'd them away before you could notice them."

"Well, now I'm scared to facing everyone."

"You have nothing to be scared of. And even if you do, I am going to be there with you."

"Will, why are you being so nice to me?" asked Tara bluntly.

"Because I now understand more of what happened and the fact that you couldn't control things. I don't agree with not contacting us for 10 years, but I do understand more," said Willow offering the blonde a smile.

"I don't deserve you being this nice," said Tara shaking her head.

"Yeah, you do," Willow said sternly. "Now I smell coffee and the one thing that you should know hasn't changed is my intense need for coffee in the morning."

"Willow, it was never just in the morning that you felt the 'intense need' for coffee. That was sort of an all day every day kind of thing," laughed Tara as Willow stuck her tongue out at the blonde.

"Snot," said Willow.

They got up and folded the blankets and then headed into the kitchen.

* * *

Buffy started the coffee brewing and then started hunting through the cupboards to find something to make for breakfast.

"Morning," said Willow as her and Tara entered the kitchen.

"I think that is a record Will," laughed Xander. "That took you all of two minutes from the time she hit the start button to get in here."

"Very funny," said Willow as everyone else started to laugh.

"Morning Tara," said Dylan as he went over and hugged the blonde. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," said Tara softly trying to hide behind her hair as he pulled away. "I'm sorry for waking everyone last night."

"Are you really okay?" asked Dawn as she put a hand on Tara's shoulder.

"I'm still parsing out what was real and what was generated by my mind. I'm mostly embarrassed that you all had to see that side of things."

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Hell, you've seen me scream like a little schoolgirl...hundreds..of...well, nevermind that," said Xander as everyone chuckled.

"Well, now that Xander has embarrassed himself for the morning let's talk breakfast. I was trying to figure out what to make for breakfast, and I have no ideas," said Buffy looking between the people gathered at the island.

"I have an idea if that is okay," said Tara.

"Hey, you want to cook for us, I will not be the one stopping you," said Buffy.

"Okay," said Tara as she looked in a couple of spots and found the ingredients that she needed. "You all can go sit in the living room and I'll make breakfast."

"I'll stay and help," said Willow.

"I'm grabbing coffee then. The hell if I am leaving a full pot of coffee in here with Willow," said Dawn and the others nodded and lined up to get their coffee.

"I am not that bad," said Willow pretending to be offended.

"Well, I wouldn't trust Tara with a full coffeepot either," said Dylan receiving a raised eyebrow from Tara.

"What? You are the one that has your own coffee maker at you painting station. And might I add you rarely share."

"Get out of here before I decide not to share breakfast with you either smartass," said Tara pushing Dylan towards the door. "Will, you can go sit with the others, it shouldn't take too long," said Tara.

"I've missed cooking with you. The last time we cooked together was for your birthday."

"I don't recall us getting a lot of cooking done that morning," blushed Tara.

"Well, eventually we did...after we celebrated the morning of your birth. Tara, I've missed you and I want to spend some time with you before you leave," admitted Willow.

"Well then my little helper elf, I need a bowl and a frying pan."

"Really? Little helper elf?"

"Well, I didn't think you'd appreciate being called my little fairy or pixie," laughed Tara receiving a friendly glare from Willow.

"I will get you back at some point Maclay. You just wait! I promise you that," said Willow using the frying pan to gesture with.

"Sure you will," mocked Tara as she took the pan.

The two went about making funny shaped pancakes, some eggs, and toast for the group. Once they had the breakfast made, Tara and Willow set the table, and then called the others to eat.

"Jackpot," said Dylan smiling at Tara and Willow.

"Wait, Tara-pancakes...right?" asked Dawn.

"Yep," said Tara.

"Score!"

"I'm going to agree with both of them," said Buffy.

Xander had just sat down and started to fill his plate when he realized it was extremely quiet. He looked up and saw everyone staring at him.

"What? I do remember what Tara's food tastes like. I am not going to waste time asking questions or talking when I can be putting the goodness into my belly," defended Xander.

"You are a very smart man," said Dylan as he sat down and started to fill his plate as well and then passed the food down to Dawn.

"Will, sit down and eat," said Tara.

"Aren't you going to eat?" asked Willow sitting down at the table.

"I, er, um," stammered Tara.

"You, er, um, what?"

"I'm going to get the rest of the pancakes," said Tara as she bolted out of the room.

"I'll be right back," said Willow as she rose and followed Tara into the kitchen.

When Tara got into the kitchen she went over by the sink and turned the water on to wash the dishes. She hadn't heard Willow come in and was surprised when the redhead wrapped her arms around her waist from behind and rested her chin on Tara's shoulder.

"Wanna tell me what's going on inside that pretty head of yours?" asked Willow.

"It's nothing, really. Just my messed up mind," answered Tara not turning to face the redhead.

"Are you too upset to eat?" asked Willow and Tara shook her head. "Are you still upset about the nightmare?" Again she received a head shake. "Talk to me Tara. Let me help."

"I'm nervous about my mom's letter," Tara said looking down at the dishes in the sink.

"Hey, how about just you and I go to Old Miller's Pond, the tree we used to cuddle under is still there. We can go there and you can read it and I'll be there for support."

"You'd d-do that f-for me?"

"Of course," Willow said. "Now please, come eat something?"

"Just a little though," said Tara.

The two exited the kitchen and joined the others. Tara ate a couple of pieces of toast hoping to calm her stomach. After they ate Tara pulled Dylan aside and told him about what her and Willow had talked about in the kitchen. She felt bad leaving him after he came all the way down there to help her. He told her it was fine and that both Dawn and Buffy had offered to let him hang out with them. He also told her that she looked really happy when she was with Willow and it was nice to see. That helped ease some of Tara's tensions.

Tara showered and got dressed. Willow did the same and then they headed off to the pond.

* * *

Dylan finished getting ready for the day. He had decided that he was going to spend the day with Dawn since she had some interesting insight on Tara and seemed more willing to share. Buffy wasn't as forthcoming about information on Tara and Willow/Tara. He wanted to know more about his best friend.

"Ready to head back to the hotel for a while?" asked Dawn.

"I'm all set," said Dylan grabbing both his and Tara's things.

They took Dawn's car back to the hotel and when they got there Sidney was working at the front desk. She smiled at the two as they walked past her.

"Hey Sid! How has the morning been so far?" asked Dawn.

"Slow honestly."

"Well, Sidney this is Tara's friend from New York Dylan, Dylan this is my assistant manager Sidney."

"It is nice to meet you," said Dylan.

"You too."

"I hear you were hitting on Tara last night," giggled Dawn.

"You could have clued me in about her and Willow," smiled Sidney.

"I had no idea that Willow was still going to be so territorial. I mean it has been years since they have seen one another."

"I can understand the attraction though," laughed Dylan.

"Hey, I'm not the one that had a crush on her first," laughed Sidney as she pointed towards Dawn.

"You weren't supposed to hear that," blushed Dawn.

"Seriously? You?" asked Dylan.

"Well, have you seen her? Hello!"

"Oh, I know. I have had to fend people off her for years. Men and women going after her."

"I believe that. I think we are going to have to save those stories for when I can watch Tara blush," plotted Dawn.

They finished up their conversation with Sidney and then went back into Dawn's office.

* * *

After a short walk Willow and Tara arrived at the pond and sat down under the tree that they used to sit under.

"It still is so pretty here," said Tara.

"Yeah, it is like time stood still," said Willow.

"Do you come out here often?"

"After you first left I did. It was a place that made me feel like I was closer to you. Over the years it started to frustrate me and make me miss you more, so I haven't been here in a couple of years."

"Will, I am so sorry I hurt you," said Tara looking into Willow's eyes.

"I understand why you did what you did," said Willow putting a hand on Tara's hand, feeling their fingers thread together as they always had before.

"It doesn't excuse what I did."

"I know, but we don't have to talk about that stuff now. I would rather enjoy the time together," Willow said smiling at Tara.

"I'd like that."

Willow and Tara walked out onto the pier and sat down at the end of it and Tara gazed over the water remembering earlier times.

"_Last one in has to buy the pizza tonight," called Buffy as the group started to disrobe into their swimming suits._

_Tara as she ripped her t-shirt and shorts off, ran down the pier and dove into the pond as Willow gawked her the sleek black one piece Tara was wearing._

"_Will, you keep drooling and you are going to be the last one in," said Buffy as she ran past the thin redhead._

_Willow quickly disrobed and ran past Xander who was trying to get his pants off without his shorts coming down._

_Willow dove into the water and came up next to Tara._

"_Hey sexy," said Tara as she pulled the redhead closer._

"_Hey yourself," said Willow leaning in and kissing her softly._

"_Woo hoo, girl on girl action," called Xander as he finally made it to the end of the pier._

"_Xander, don't be a pig," called Buffy._

"_Fine, but they need to stop taunting me," he pouted._

"_Xander, we are 17 and in love, cut us some slack," said Tara she kissed Willow again before releasing the redhead._

_The group played Marco Polo for a while and swam before they got tired of it and decided to lay out in the sun to dry off. Willow and Tara put their towels next to one another while Buffy and Xander put theirs across from them._

"_So, what do you guys want to do tonight?" asked Tara._

"_Well, it is the 4th of July so we could go up on top of the hill and watch the fireworks," suggested Willow._

"_I see fireworks every time you kiss me," said Tara as she leaned over and kissed Willow quickly._

"_That was really cheesy Tara. I expect something like that from Xander, not you." _

"_HEY," exclaimed Xander._

"_Sorry. I know one thing for tonight, Xander is going to provide dinner," laughed Buffy._

"_I think you all cheated since two out of the three of you are in bikini's!"_

"_We did not," said Willow smiling at how good Tara looked in her suit._

_Later that night the group went up onto the top of the nearby hill, ate pizza and watched the fireworks. Willow and Tara were cuddled together and felt as though they didn't have a care in the world._

"What are you thinking about?" asked Willow seeing a distant smile on Tara's face.

"That last 4th of July when we were all here together and then we went up onto the hill and watched the fireworks. We were so happy. How can things go from so right to so wrong so quickly?"

"I don't know, they just do."

"It wasn't fair," said Tara getting up from the edge of the pier and walking over towards the tree, their tree.

"Do you want to talk for a while or read your mom's letter?" asked Willow following Tara.

"W-w-will you hold me while I r-read the letter?" asked Tara nervously.

"Of course I will," said Willow moving to lean against the tree and then motioning for Tara to sit between her legs. Once Tara was comfortable, Willow wrapped her arms around the blondes waist and rested her head on Tara's shoulder. "Is this okay?"

"Perfect," said Tara. "You can read along if you want."

"No, this is your letter to read, if you want to share it afterwards then I will be honored to read it."

Tara sat back and opened the envelope and took a deep breath and began to read.

"_To my beautiful precious daughter,_

_I want to you to know that I have loved you since the day I first felt I was pregnant with you. I wish I could have protected you better and saved you from all the pain you had to endure. I wasn't strong enough. It took me losing you to really see how bad things were. To admit honestly how bad things were. I have missed you so much over the years baby girl. I have some things that I want to say. I wish I could have done this in person, but I respect you and your reasoning for distancing yourself from us and this place._

_Most important and first and foremost; I love you! I always have and I always will. I knew for weeks before I got it confirmed from the doctor that I was pregnant with you. I knew you were a girl and I was so excited. You have to know that you were, are, and will always be the best thing that came out of my life with that man. You have grown up and into such a beautiful woman. I am sure you are wondering how I know this. I'm not proud of it, but I had a private investigator track you down in New York. He showed me pictures he had taken of you. Seeing your smile again brought tears to my eyes. I had missed it and you so much. I sent Willow to New York to verify what the private investigator was telling me was true. I made her swear not to have contact with you. I know that wasn't fair to her or maybe it was even unfair to you. I couldn't contact you because I wanted YOU to be ready for us to be a part of your life. You had enough forced upon you growing up, I swore from the night you left that I would not force myself into your life, nor would I let anyone else._

_Since you are reading this, that means that you came back. I am hoping that Willow is with you while you are reading this. She has been such an amazing help to me over the past few years. She helped me survive after you left, she has helped me while I have been sick. Oh my darling, you were right when you told me that she was an angel put on earth. I wish for you both to find happiness, and I am secretly hoping that you will somehow find your way back to one another and find the happiness together._

_Tara, I love you so much and I will be watching over you always. Please know that loving someone doesn't have to be a bad experience, you just have to make sure that you don't compromise yourself. I'm getting really tired. I don't have the strength and stamina to do a lot now. I think what I really want you to know is that I love you and admire you for being able to leave and not come back. _

_I love you with all my heart and soul._

_Mama"_

As Tara finished the letter tears were streaming down her face, Willow had pulled her tighter to her body.

"Oh mama, I love you too," cried Tara. "I've missed you so much!"

They sat there while Tara grieved for the loss of her mother, for the loss of so much.

"She talked about you often," said Willow placing a kiss on the side of Tara's head. "When she was going through the cancer treatments she would hallucinate and apologize to you over and over. It broke my heart to hear her and know that she wouldn't allow me to call you or come and get you. I don't know what she said in the letter, but you have to believe that you were the most precious piece of her life."

"Thank you Willow for taking care of her and for loving her."

"It was my pleasure. It allowed me to hold on to you for a while longer. I never stopped loving you or missing you," admitted Willow.

"I love you too," said Tara turning her head and pressing her lips to Willows. She had caught the redhead by surprise, but it only took a heartbeat for the redhead to responding to the kiss.

The kiss was slow, passion filled, and quickly took their breath away. Tara turned her body slightly and threaded her hand into the back of Willow's hair. Hearing a groan from Willow told Tara that Willow was feeling this just as deeply as she was. As they broke the kiss Willow leaned her forehead against Tara's.

"Wow, that was...amazing," said Willow.

"I agree," Tara said smiling at Willow and then leaning forward and kissing her softly.

They sat there, Willow holding Tara, gently placing kisses into the blonde's hair. They were enjoying the feeling of being close, of being someplace that had so many memories for them. Tara was still processing all that her mother's letter had to say as well.

"Will," said Tara breaking the silence.

"Um hmm," said Willow into Tara's hair.

"Do you want to read the letter?"

"Tara, that is your letter. Your mom wrote that for your eyes," said Willow.

"I know, and now I'm asking if you, someone deeply important to both of us would like to read it," Tara said turning in Willow's arms so she could look at the redhead.

"Are you sure?"

"Will, I've been sitting here thinking about the letter, all that you have said went on. I think it is fitting that you read the letter. I think you are the only person that I would feel right sharing it with."

"I erm, I would like to if you are sure you are okay with me reading it."

"Okay, but you have to switch spots with me so I can hold you while you read it. I know the letter is going to have as much and maybe more meaning at times than it did for me."

Willow nodded and they traded spots. Tara leaning up against the tree and Willow leaning up against Tara. Willow felt Tara wrap her arms around her waist and pull her close. When they were finally situated Willow opened the letter and read the words of a woman she loved as her own mother. A woman whom had brought into the world the most important and cherished person Willow could ever know. Tears rolled down her face as she neared the end. When she finished she folded the letter back up and handed it to Tara. Willow curled up into a ball in Tara's arms and they cried together.

As the sun had moved in the sky and they knew it was now well after noon and they needed to get back to the hotel. Willow stood and then reached her hands down and helped Tara up. Tara pulled Willow close. She wrapped her arms around the redheads waist and felt Willow wrap her around Tara's neck, Tara leaned forward and kissed the redhead. The kiss was gentle, conveying love, but not demanding anything more.

"W-we should g-get back," said Tara as they broke from the kiss.

"Thank you for coming here today with me and for sharing your letter with me. I know it is deeply personal."

"Thank you for sitting with me, holding me, and just being here for support."

Willow took Tara's hand and the two left Old Miller Pond to go back to the hotel where Dylan was spending the day with Dawn. They walked in silence, both processing the letter, the kisses, and just being together and what they both wanted for the future.

* * *

Dawn and Dylan were sitting in her office. Dawn was going through some paperwork and Dylan was on his tablet looking at various items from work.

"So, you have known Tara since she moved to New York?" asked Dawn breaking the silence.

"Well, pretty much. I met her after she had been in town for a couple of weeks."

"How'd you meet her?"

"I had just started at the gallery we work at now and she was looking at one of the paintings I had replicated and, well, how did you put it...'have you seen her?' I went over to talk to her. I asked if she liked the artist and she flat out said she wouldn't know that this was a fake. I started to laugh and told her I knew because I was the one that had painted it. She looked at me like I had kicked her kitten or something. She was horrified. I explained to her then what we do about getting permission to duplicate the art for insurance costs. She then told me it was a good replica. I told her it couldn't have been too good if she could tell that it was a fake. She showed me where my flaw was. It was a simple brush stroke that I had done wrong. The curator, Lillian, overheard us talking and asked Tara if she could paint as well as she could assess paintings and when Tara said she could Lillian asked if she was looking for a job and offered her one on the spot."

"Seriously? Only Tara could be at an art museum and get hit on and a job all in one afternoon," laughed Dawn. After thinking about it for a moment Dylan joined in the laughter.

Sidney knocked on the door and hearing the laughter from within peeked her head in.

"Okay, you two are having way too much fun in here to actually be doing work," she said.

"No, Dylan just told me how he met Tara and we are laughing because she is the only one that can get hit on and a job offer in the same afternoon," said Dawn.

"Does she have some witchy power that draws people to her?" joked Sidney.

"It is her kindness and gentleness," Dylan said smiling.

"Even after everything she's been through," mumbled Dawn loud enough for Dylan to hear but not Sidney. "So, what's up?"

"Um, well, Anya is here..." started Sidney.

"One of these days you are going to have to learn how to deal with her," said Dawn.

"I know, but can today NOT be that day?"

"Fine, I will be out there in a minute."

Sidney smiled and went back out to the front to tell Anya that Dawn would be right out.

"Who is Anya?" asked Dylan.

"She is Xander's ex-fiance, and a total pain in the ass when she chooses."

"So, can I come and watch a master handle someone so destructive?"

"Well, I could call Buffy, but I was thinking of handling it myself," joked Dawn as they left her office and headed for the front counter. Dylan was right behind her.

* * *

**TBC...**


	8. Chapter 7 - Holding onto the Past

**matash21:** I'm glad that you were not disappointed with the update!

**Willara4ever:** Well, Anya does require a special hand when dealing with her.

**Suzi:** I'm glad you liked the letter scene. I spent a lot of time thinking about how to do that scene and what to write. Enjoy the update.

* * *

**Feedback:** Pretty please…it helps me improve and if I get stuck it tells me where you would like to see the story go.

_**Authors Notes: **__Thank you to __**Willara4ever**__ for all your help with this story. Thanks for being the best beta on this and all my published and especially the unpublished stories I have going. Thank you to __**matash21**__for the awesome cover image!_

* * *

**Chapter 7 - Holding onto the Past**

"Hey Xander! What brings you by?" asked Buffy as Xander entered the Police station.

"I just wanted to talk to you about something quick if you have a moment," he said.

"Okay, come on into my office," said Buffy motioning to her office. Once they entered she closed the door and sat down behind the desk putting her feet up on it.

"I'm worried about Willow," he blurted out.

"Worried why?" asked Buffy sitting up and intently listening to what the construction worker had to say.

"I'm afraid she is going to get her hopes up that because Tara came back here that she is going to stay or that they can have a relationship."

"Xander, Tara has only been back maybe 24 hours and after hearing WHY she left, I don't think Willow is going to read more into it."

"She can't survive another heartbreak from Tara," he said looking at the blonde across from him.

"I know that, but let's see where they stand after their time out at the pond, then we can decide what to do," said Buffy.

"Buffy, were you not there this morning to see how close and cuddly they were being?"

"I was, but I don't think that they are just going to jump back into things as if the past 10 years hasn't passed."

"I just don't want Willow being hurt anymore."

"Nobody does. I'm certain that Tara doesn't want Willow hurt anymore either."

"I hope you are right," said Xander. "I'm glad to have Tara back here and to get to know her, well who she is now. I just need to look out for Willow. She's still really fragile."

"I know Xander. I know."

* * *

"Do you want me to come to the hotel with you?" asked Willow as they walked back from the pond holding hands.

"Of course I do," Tara said offering a soft lopsided smile.

"I just don't want to be crowding you."

"If you start to crowd me, I'll let you know," Tara said squeezing the redheads hand as they neared the edge of town.

"When do you go back to New York?"

"Day after tomorrow. I believe Dylan goes back tomorrow. The museum can't be down 2 replicators for too long."

"That must be such an amazing job," said Willow.

"Why do you think that?"

"Hello, you are copying famous and original masterpieces."

"I am, but it is work Will. Yeah, being close to a DaVinci painting is like nothing else. Yet when I am replicating it, I just see the brush strokes and what I need to get it done, and accurately."

"Still, from here it sounds amazing."

"It was at first very intimidating. Although, by doing the replicating it has really helped me improve my painting skills."

"You always had more talent than you gave yourself credit for," smiled Willow.

"And you were always biased," Tara said offering a lopsided smile that melted the redheads heart.

"And honest," said Willow as they neared the hotel.

* * *

"Anya," said Dawn as she came around the corner and walked up to the desk.

"Well, it is about ti..." started Anya until she saw Dylan who was coming up behind Dawn. "Hi, I'm Anya Jenkins. And you are?"

"He is not here for you, Anya," said Dawn blocking Anya's hand that was extended towards Dylan.

"Well, maybe not, but there is no reason to be rude to such an amazing specimen of manly goodness."

"I'm Dylan," he said shaking Anya's hand. "I'm just visiting. The um person I am with just stepped out so I am shadowing Dawn while she is off taking care of some stuff."

"Well, that is pretty rude to ditch you and leave you with Junior Summers here," scoffed Anya.

"HEY," exclaimed Dawn wishing that Anya would stop talking.

"Oh, it wasn't meant as anything bad. Some people can be so sensitive."

"And some people can be so rude," said Dawn looking directly at Anya. "What brings you by the hotel today Anya?"

"Well, we are going to be having several of the big wigs visiting from the corporate office of the tire factory and I was hoping to get a block of suites reserved," said Anya and then she turned to Dylan. "I am the Director of Finance for the tire factory. And what do you do?"

"Anya, quit flirting with him," growled Dawn as she pulled up the reservation calendar in the computer.

"Well, I don't see a wedding ring on his finger and we all know that I am single no thanks to Xander."

"Dawn is right, I will be leaving for New York tomorrow so the flirting isn't necessary," interjected Dylan.

"Pity! What does New York have that I can't give you?" said Anya moving closer to the area of the counter where Dylan was standing.

"Ahn, when do you need the block, how many, and for how long?" asked Dawn hearing a giggle from Sidney's direction.

"Right. I will need 10 suites for 8 days started the first of next month."

"Well, I can guarantee that we can do that. Thank you for giving us ample advanced notice this time," said Dawn as she blocked off the rooms in the calendar.

"Yeah, it wasn't my fault you wouldn't move those people around last time."

"I realize it wasn't Anya, but I am still thanking you for the advanced notice. I have blocked the suites for you so we are all set."

"Thank you," said Anya. "So handsome, do you have plans tonight? Your last night in our little town."

"He does," said Willow as her and Tara came in the front door of the hotel.

Sidney, Dawn, and Dylan noticed they were holding hands but quickly dropped them when Willow addressed Anya.

"So, you know our little friend here Willow?" asked Anya.

"Yes, I do."

"Oh, don't tell me the one you are with is with that hot little number standing next to Willow," said Anya.

"I am," said Dylan offering both Willow and Tara a pleading look.

"Hi Sweetie, sorry we were gone so long," said Tara walking over and hugging Dylan close.

"It's okay. I know how time flies when you are spending time with old friends." Dylan kept his arm around Tara and held her close.

"You really should get a ring on his finger before someone like myself steals him away," said Anya turning to look directly at Tara.

"It has been a topic of discussion hasn't it Sweetie," said Tara smiling lovingly up at Dylan as he hugged her even closer. Willow, Dawn and Sidney were trying to contain their laughter.

"Well, Dawn do you need anything else from me for that block reservation?"

"No, we are good Anya," said Dawn hoping the woman would leave, she wasn't sure how much more 'Anya' she could take.

"Fine, it was nice meeting you handsome. If you ever get bored with blondie here, give me a call," said Anya handing Dylan her card before turning and leaving.

"Who the hell was that?" asked Tara after Anya had left the building as she extricated herself from Dylan's tight hold.

"That is Anya...Xanders ex-fiance," giggled Willow.

"She's what?" said Tara in surprise unsure she had heard Willow correctly.

Willow was about to explain the force known as Anya, when Xander and Buffy walked in.

"Ah, perfect timing you two," said Willow looking directly at Xander.

"That is never a good greeting," said Buffy as she and Xander started to slowly back away.

"Freeze Summers, you too Harris," said Tara eager to find out more about Anya.

"What did we do?" asked Xander nervously.

"Oh, you just missed Anya," giggled Dawn. As she said the woman's name she saw both Xander and Buffy shiver.

"That sounds like perfect timing if we missed her," said Xander sitting down on the chair in the lobby area near the others.

Tara moved from her seat in-between Willow and Dylan to sit on Xander's lap in hopes of making it so he couldn't run away. "Yeah, but now you get to explain her to ME!"

"Crap!" exclaimed Xander.

"So, ex-fiance huh?!" teased Tara as she leaned back and put her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, she moved here about two years after you left. We dated for a couple of years, I proposed, she said yes..."

"He got cold feet and wussed out on the day of the rehearsal," added Buffy picking up where Xander had trailed off.

"Seriously Xander?" asked Tara.

"Yes, not one of my finer moments. It was still better than doing it the day of the wedding," he said looking down. "What was she doing here?"

"She came to reserve some rooms and hit on Dylan," laughed Dawn as Dylan glared at her and shook his head turning a bright shade of red.

"How bad was she?" asked Xander mortified.

"Oh yeah, it was full-blown Anya on the prowl," said Dawn.

"Man, I am SO sorry."

"We all are," said Willow. "Tara and I walked in to see some of it. Then Tara became the loving girlfriend in order to tame her a bit and she still gave him her card and told him to call her if he ever got bored with Tara."

"Oh god," blushed Xander. He was really wishing Tara would move so he could bolt out of there. Anya Jenkins was not a subject that he wanted to discuss freely.

"Yeah Xander, it wasn't cool of your ex to hit on my honey," teased Tara hugging the dark-haired man whose lap she was still perched on..

"I am going to guess that she didn't take the breakup well," said Dylan.

"Not in the slightest," said Buffy. "I had to put Xander in protective custody for a few days. She was on a mission to make him pay. She wanted vengeance."

"So, what stopped her?" asked Tara.

"She found a new guy," Willow said deadpanned and holding her hand out for Tara to return to sitting next to her.

Tara got up and moved back over to sit by Willow and Dylan. Everyone noted how close the blonde and redhead were sitting.

"I have an idea," said Willow changing the subject after seeing how uncomfortable Xander was becoming and knowing he wanted out of this subject or the hotel.

"What's that?" asked Tara.

"Why don't we get Chinese and all go back to my place and hang out."

"I'm in," said Tara smiling at the idea of getting to see Willow's house and what her life had become.

"If Tara's in, I'm in," said Dylan. He wanted to get to know Willow better. Someone who could bring out so much joy in Tara was someone he needed to know more about.

"I'm in," said Buffy. "Dawnie?"

"Yep, I just need to finish a couple of things here and then I can head over. Why don't you place the order and I'll pick it up on my way."

"Sounds good. Um, Tara, can I talk to you for a minute," said Willow nervously.

"Sure sweetie, why don't you come up to my room with me while I put the letter away."

"Okay," said Willow and they headed to the elevator and up to Tara's room.

"I wonder what that is about," said Buffy.

"I don't know, but does everyone remember that Tara's mom lived at Willow's...the exact same house where we are going tonight, the same house that Willow was terrorized in," said Xander looking at the group.

"What?" said Dylan shocked by this fact. "I didn't realize this was the same house. Do you think that Tara can handle being there? I won't let anything upset her like yesterday."

"Down boy," said Buffy putting a hand on Dylan's arm. "I know that Tara can handle it. Part of it may be hard, but I think it will be good for both her and Will."

"If you are sure," Dylan said warily.

"If she starts to have problems, we'll either come back here or go back to my place," reassured Buffy.

* * *

Tara unlocked her room and entered with Willow following nervously right behind her.

"What's going on Will?" asked Tara as they walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I, um, wanted to remind you that your um Mom lived with me at my place for the last several years of her life. Are you okay with being there? It isn't going to be too difficult is it?"

"Oh, I hadn't thought about that. I think I will be okay. If not, you'll be there to help me," Tara said with a smile.

"Of course, I will be wherever you want me. Do you want to bring some clothes to um, stay over? I mean if it gets late or something. Not that I am pushing you or expecting anything, I just, I don't know. I had such a good time today and I am afraid that if the day ends you'll be gone. And I know we have separate lives right now, but I don't know, I'm babbling and I can't stop myself."

"Will, relax please," said Tara taking Willow's hand in her own. "I would like to bring some clothes and stay over, not if it gets too late, but just plan that I will stay over. I had a great time today too. Spending time with you is incredible and not something I was thinking would ever happen again."

"You really want to stay?" asked Willow.

"Yeah, I really want to stay. I want to spend as much time as I can with you Willow. Dylan goes back to New York tomorrow. I don't go back until the following night."

"Oh, can I sign that form for you now? I don't want to forget later," said Willow.

"Sure," said Tara getting up from the bed and grabbing the form off the desk and taking the pen that was sitting next to them as well and handing them to Willow. "The photo of you is the one that Lillian likes best."

"Well, we all know that I am incredibly photogenic," laughed Willow and Tara joined in.

After signing the release from, Tara put it in her bag and then packed a few items to take with over to Willow's for the night. They then headed back downstairs to meet with the others.

* * *

"I hope they hurry up, I'm starving," said Buffy.

"Well, we could order now and then as soon as they get down here leave. I'm sure Dylan knows what Tara likes," suggested Xander.

"That is a great idea. I know what Willow will want. Dylan?"

"Tara like General Tso Chicken extra spicy. I like the steamed dumplings," said Dylan.

"I want the same thing as Tara," said Xander.

"I'll take the beef & broccoli," said Dawn as she then left them and went to her office to finish her work for the day.

"Alright then, I will call this in and as soon as those two get down here we can leave," said Buffy and just as she finished her sentence she heard the elevator dinged and they saw Willow and Tara getting off.

"Sorry that took so long," said Tara.

"That is fine, I am going to call in the order. Tara, Dylan said you would want the General Tso. Is that what you want?"

"Yep! Extra spicy."

"Will, the usual?"

"Yeah, that would be great Buffy," said Willow.

"Great, I will call this in and we can head out," said Buffy as she headed over to the house phone in the lobby and called in their order. Once she hung up she went and told Dawn that they were leaving and the order would be ready for pick-up in 20 minutes.

The group headed out of the hotel and towards Willow's place. Tara walked in-between Willow and Dylan unaware that Anya was watching them. She just wasn't sure that the blonde was what was best for that dashing man and she could sense that there was more to the story of the mysterious blonde.

The group arrived at Willow's and once she unlocked the door everyone stood back to let Willow and Tara enter first as this was going to affect them both emotionally on deeper levels than they could truly understand.

* * *

"Y-you have a n-nice place," said Tara as she entered.

"Thanks," said Willow suddenly feeling overwhelmed by emotion and flooded with memories.

They moved inside further and the others entered as well and moved to the living room while Willow and Tara stayed in the entry. Willow closed the door and then locked the three locks on the door. Tara seeing this froze and tears welled up in her eyes and then started to stream down her face.

"Oh goddess," she whispered as she realized that even after all these years, Willow was still tormented by what HER father had done. She backed up several steps until she bumped into a wall and then slid down the wall, covering her face with her hands and crying softly.

"Tara," said Dylan trying to make his way to her, but he was stopped by Buffy and Xander.

"Let them process this," whispered Xander as he watched Willow turn and see Tara sitting on the ground.

"Tara? Baby?" Willow said with a shaky voice. When Tara didn't look up but her shoulders shook, Willow knew that the she was going to need more than words. Willow moved over and knelt down in front of Tara. Placing a kiss on the top of the blondes head.

"I am so sorry. I am so sorry for what he did. It was my fault, it is my fault that you have to live like this," said Tara into her knees. Tears still flowing she couldn't make herself look up into those amazing green eyes. She felt so ashamed.

Everyone in the living room felt their hearts break when they heard the words come out of Tara's mouth. Dylan crumpled into a chair hurting for his friend, wanting to help her but knowing also that Xander was right, they needed to help one another through this.

"Tara no! It is not your fault. Look at me," said Willow. She waited until she saw Tara start to look up at her. "There's my beautiful girl. Baby, you did not cause this. You were not the one that made him do this. Your leaving set your mother free from that bastard. You saved her and you saved yourself."

"Yes, I saved myself Willow, I didn't think of what would happen to the rest of you."

"You said that you didn't tell us what was going on because he threatened us. You did think of us when you kept your leaving and where you when to yourself. As for your mother, you saved her. She left him. She had the strength to do it because of you, baby. Don't you see that?"

"Will, you were the one that took care of her. You were the one that gave her strength, I just left."

"Come here," said Willow pulling Tara into her arms as she slid back a couple of feet to lean up against another wall. "She had the strength to leave because she saw you succeed in leaving."

"You have three locks on your door because he came here and caused one to fail...you live with that fear. I should have stayed and protected you."

"Had you stayed you would have died, Tara," Buffy finally interjected.

"Maybe, but she wouldn't be living in fear because of him," Tara said looking Buffy in the eyes.

"I'd rather be traumatized and have you alive than the other way around," whispered Willow. "This will continue to get better over time...you being gone would be a permanent empty hole in my heart and soul that wouldn't ever be able to be filled or repaired."

"I'm so sorry Willow."

"I know you are, but you have no reason to be Baby," said Willow kissing the side of Tara's head as she squeezed her closer.

"Tara, do you want to stay here or do you want to go back to my house?" asked Buffy.

"I want to stay here, I need to face it..."

"Would you like to see your mom's room while you are here?" asked Willow who received a questioning look from Tara.

"I have kept it the way she had it in hopes that you would come and I could show you it," admitted Willow.

"I would love to," Tara said taking a deep breath to calm herself and her tears. "Can we do it now?"

"Buffy, you know where everything is, just help yourself and whatever, we're going to um go..."

"We heard, take your time, call if you need us," said Buffy.

"Tara, are you sure about this?" asked Dylan finally kneeling next to the two women.

"I'll be okay. Stay here and hang with the others, but be ready to come if I can't handle it."

"You know I am always here for you," said Dylan rubbing a hand on her back and offering Willow a smile to show his support for her as well.

The two women rose and while holding on to one another they ascended the stairs and moved towards the room Willow had kept for Tara to see.

* * *

Sidney was finishing up at the front desk and filling in Shawn the night desk manager on how the day had been when Dawn came out of her office.

"Hey," said Shawn nodding to Dawn.

"Hi Shawn, how are you doing tonight?" she asked.

"Good. Seems like it was a good day here," he said.

"Pretty slow actually," said Sidney. "You are all caught up, so if you have no questions I am going to head out."

"Have a great night," said Shawn as Sidney went in back to get her stuff.

"I have to get going as well. If you have any problems, you know how to reach me," said Dawn.

"I do, and I will not bother you," laughed Shawn as he waved to her and Sidney who had just exited the back area and was now walking out with Dawn.

"So, big plans tonight?" asked Sidney.

"Nah, I've had enough excitement with Anya showing up today," laughed Dawn.

"She is a handful isn't she. Dawn can I ask you something before you head off?"

"Sure Sid, what's up?" Dawn asked as she pulled them over to a nearby bench in front of one of the stores.

"What is the deal with Willow and Tara?"

"They dated for a couple of years before Tara left. This is the first time she has been back in 10 years. I don't know what is going on now though. Why do you ask?"

"Well, the whole time I have known Willow she has been single and rather unavailable and I just wondered if that was because of Tara. They seem perfect for one another."

"They are perfect for one another. I think Buffy used to call them soul mates."

"That seems to describe it pretty well. They just fit together. I feel bad for hitting on Tara when she first got here now that have seen her and Willow together."

"Don't feel bad. You didn't know about them and you wouldn't have believed their connection had you not seen it."

"True, it is intense," said Sidney shaking her head.

"This is nothing like it was 10 years ago. This is weak compared to that."

"That is a scary thought. I should let you get going. I was just curious."

"No problem. I will see you tomorrow," said Dawn as she got up and waved to Sidney.

Sidney sat there for a minute and then headed to her apartment above the clothing store nearby.

Dawn headed to the Chinese restaurant and got their order and then went to her car and drove to Willow's house.

* * *

**TBC...**


	9. Chapter 8 - Times Gone By

**Willara4ever: ** Xander is always very protective of his Willow. I think that Sidney understands her place now.** :)**

**Suzi:** I like to keep you guess on where my warped little mind is going to take the story next.

**matash21:** Guilt drives a lot of actions for people. You will have to stick around to find out of there is heartbreak on the horizon or not.

* * *

**Feedback:** Pretty please…it helps me improve and if I get stuck it tells me where you would like to see the story go.

_**Authors Notes: **__Thank you to __**Willara4ever**__ for all your help with this story. Thanks for being the best beta on this and all my published and especially the unpublished stories I have going. Thank you to __**matash21**__for the awesome cover image!_

* * *

**Chapter 8 - Times Gone By**

As they neared the room Willow could feel Tara start to tense.

"Are you sure about this? We don't have to do this now if you aren't ready" said Willow as they stood at the top of the stairs.

"I don't know, but I really want and feel like I need to see it," said Tara looking towards the redhead.

Willow stopped them outside the room and pulled Tara into a hug and held her as close as she could. Tara wrapped her arms around Willow and they enjoyed the closeness for a bit. As they started to pull away Tara smiled at Willow.

"What is that smile for?" asked Willow.

"Thank you for doing this. For allowing me the opportunity to see where my mom spent the last years of her life."

"It was a pleasure having her here. She was a mother to me too, more than my mother ever was," Willow answered honestly moving towards the door.

They entered the room. It wasn't a large room, but it was a good-sized room with an attached bathroom. There were two large windows with chairs in front of them. Tara could picture her mom sitting in them basking in the sunlight. The bed was a four-poster queen sized bed with a nightstand on each side and a Hope chest at the foot of it. The room colors were country themed which Tara knew her mother loved and the pictures on the wall and on the dresser were of Tara, Willow, her Mom and some of them together intermixed. Tara saw that there were a couple of pictures of her from just before her Mom died. She thought that they must be the ones that the private investigator had taken. She reached out and picked one up trying to figure out where and when it was taken.

"That was one that I took when I went to New York to verify what the investigator told us," Willow said proudly.

"You took this?" asked Tara turning to face the redhead who was still standing in the doorway leaning against the door jamb.

"Yeah, the ones the investigator got for us we weren't able to enlarge them without completely distorting them. I knew that Sarah wanted to be able to see you while she could so when I went up there I borrowed one of the CSI cameras from work, which I must say are pretty freaking nice and I used it to take some shots for her. We put a couple out on display and then I helped her create a photo album for you. It is in the chest at the foot of the bed."

"Where was this taken Will? I can't place it."

"Let me see," said Willow moving to stand next to Tara and look at the picture. "That was you leaving the Brooklyn Children's Museum."

"I've only been there once so I remember when you would have taken this. Dylan, Lillian, and I went there to help with an art program for kids. I was teaching seven and eight-year olds how to use painting and sculpting to express their feelings and let out some of their emotions out through art."

"That is amazing. I can see why you had such a huge smile on your face."

"Well, it was thanks to one of the kids in the program. She came from a past resembling mine, only it was her Mom who was the destructive force and her Dad took her away from the abuse. We connected and she was able to get out a lot of emotion in that short two-hour class. She smiled when she showed her Dad her painting and he came up to me afterwards and told me it was the first time since they had left her Mom several months prior that she had genuinely smiled."

_They arrived at the museum just before it opened and set up their display and the various art stations. Lillian supervised mostly while Tara and Dylan did the work. Once they were set up they stood off to a side while the kids were brought into the large room._

"_Hello everyone. My name is Lillian, I am a museum curator. Today we are here to show you how to use art as a form of expression."_

"_What does that mean?" asked one of the kids in the front row._

"_That means that we're going to teach you how to put all that stuff that you are holding inside, how to put that into something artistic. Maybe you want to paint something to get out the frustration of getting a C on that last test though you studied hard for it, or maybe you want to sculpt that monster from your dream in clay and then you can smash it so that it doesn't come back into your dream. I brought two of my favorite artists from my gallery with to help. Tara is a fantastic painter and Dylan, he is a good painter and good with sculpting as well. Each of you will get a chance to choose what you want to try, and if you get bored or don't like the station, you can move and try something different. I'll help anyone who wants to draw."_

_With the speech over they allowed the kids to choose a station. Dylan had several kids come over to the clay station and start to build with the clay. Lillian had a couple of kids that she helped get started with drawing, and Tara had three kids that were interested in painting. _

"_Hi, I'm Tara," she said kneeling down so that she was at their level. "Do any of you paint on a regular basis now?" asked Tara and she saw one hand go up. "Well, then you are going to have to be my helper if anyone needs help." The little boy smiled back at her as if she had just given him the biggest cookie ever._

"_Do you do a lot of painting?" asked one of the girls._

"_I do. Painting is what helps me calm down and get out all that bad stuff I have been holding inside."_

"_What kind of stuff?" asked the little boy._

"_Stuff like when I have a bad day at work, or when someone says or does something that hurts my feelings even if they didn't mean to. When I sit down to paint I forget all that and focus on what I love and how happy it makes me. Why don't we get you something to cover your clothes so they don't get covered in paint and then we can get started."_

_Tara and the kids put on their painting smocks and moved over to where she had placed four canvases. Each kid picked a different canvas. Tara brought them each a set of paint and some brushes._

"_Alright, why don't you each close your eyes and picture something that you want to paint, something that will make you happy and make you forget the bad stuff. Once you have that picture in your mind, move over to your canvas and try to paint it. I'll be here to help if you need it."_

_The kids closed their eyes and thought for a minute before they each moved over to their canvas and started to paint. Tara walked between them all looking at their pictures and asking them questions about what they were painting. _

"_What are you painting?" Tara asked one of the two girls._

"_I'm painting my mommy in her flower garden. She is always smiling and happy when she is out there and she looks so pretty. I just don't know how to paint her."_

"_Well, would you like some help?"_

"_Yes please," said the little brown-haired girl._

_Tara took a brush and after finding out the mothers hair and eye color she painted her into the girls picture for her._

"_Wow, that looks like her," giggled the little girl who went on painting more flowers._

"_What are you painting?" Tara asked the only boy in the group._

"_I'm painting my soccer game where I scored the winning goal," he smiled. "Do you know how to make a soccer ball?" _

_Tara nodded that she did and painted one in for him and then moved on to the littlest girl._

"_Hi, what are you painting?" asked Tara as she knelt next to the little redhead who reminded her of a young Willow._

_The little girl just looked at Tara, the fear in her eyes broke Tara's heart. She knew how this girl felt and she was going to do whatever she could to help her._

"_When I was little my daddy wasn't very happy with me and he used to yell a lot. I would always feel so sad for upsetting him. I would go to my room and paint pictures of what he looked like yelling at me to get it out of my mind. Do you have someone who does stuff that makes you unhappy?" she asked the little girl receiving a slight nod. "Well, what if we painted something together? Would that be okay?"_

_The little girl thought about it for a moment and then handed Tara one of the brushes. They spent the next hour painting together Tara started to see hints of a smile as they continued. Tara checked on the others briefly. When the time was up the kids parents came in to get them and the little girl who Tara had been working with ran over and grabbed the hand of a thin man with bright red hair and pulled him over and showed him her picture. She was smiling as she told him about it. Tara left them to enjoy it together, she could see the love the girl and her father had for one another._

"_Um, excuse me," said the father as Tara was starting to clean up some of the other stations._

"_Hi. Your daughter is an amazing artist," said Tara smiling over at the little girl._

"_Thank you. She told me what you told her about your dad and what you two were doing. Her mother was the destructive force in her life. When I couldn't stand to see it happen anymore her and I picked up and left. This is the first time in months that I have seen a genuine smile on her face."_

"_Well, I am glad I could help. If you are interested I can write down what you would need to set up something like this at home for her," Tara said smiling over at the redhead who was still beaming at the picture they had painted together._

"_That would be great."_

_Tara wrote down what they would need and the little girl hugged her tightly and thanked her for giving her back her smile. Tara did her best to hold back the tears, but she couldn't help her heart from wishing someone would have taken her away from her destructive force. _

_After everyone was gone Tara told Dylan and Lillian what had happened and they were both amazed and proud at the way Tara was able to connect with the girl and help her._

"That is amazing. You are amazing," said Willow. Tara smiled and put the picture back on the dresser.

"I can still smell her here," whispered Tara as looked around the room and then moved to sit on the bed.

"I can too," admitted Willow. "She kept some journals filled with her thoughts. They are in the chest as well. I never read them, but I thought you might like those as well. To be able to read what she was thinking and feeling. She wrote in the journals several times per day."

"Thank you for this," Tara said motioning around the room as Willow came and sat next to her on the bed.

"You have nothing to thank me for. I did it to hold on to a piece of you for as long as I could."

"That may be how you started it, but that isn't why you continued it."

"True, but I am no saint in my reasons for doing things," said Willow. "Do you want some time alone up here? I can go downstairs or to my room if so."

"Not right now. I don't think I could handle it. Being alone in here right now would be more overwhelming than I can handle. Maybe after everyone leaves you and I can come back and you can show me the photo album and the journals."

"I'd like that," said Willow taking Tara's hand in her own and playing with her fingers. "We should probably get back down there."

"Yeah, I know. Being here alone with you is nice too though."

"We'll kick them out early," Willow said winking at Tara causing her to laugh.

* * *

Dawn arrived at the house and Buffy let her in and they took the food into the kitchen.

"Where are Tara and Willow?" asked Dawn.

"They are up in Tara's Mom's room," said Buffy.

"Are you sure it is a good idea for them to be up there alone?"

"Well, if you ask Dylan no, but I think that they will let us know if they need help. After the breakdown that Tara had when we got here, I think that they are okay."

"What do you mean breakdown?"

Buffy explained what had happened when they got there and the reaction that Tara had towards seeing the locks and everything. Both Buffy and Dawn felt bad for them, but they knew that they weren't going to get past this if they didn't face it. After unpacking dinner and getting everything set Buffy called upstairs for Willow and Tara to come and eat.

They received no response from upstairs so Buffy and Dylan decided they would go check on the two women. They both went in case both girls were in need of support.

* * *

Willow loved the feel of Tara's hand in hers. Her mind kept drifting back to earlier when they had kissed at the pond. How amazing she felt when Tara pressed her lips to Willows.

"I can see what you are thinking about Willow," Tara said softly giving Willow a coy smile.

"And what do you think that I am thinking about?" asked Willow with a slight blush on her cheeks.

"You are thinking about kissing me," said Tara with not just any lopsided smile, her lopsided smile that melted every defense the redhead had.

"No, I was thinking about WHEN you kissed me," said Willow and then she blushed more because Tara had gotten her to admit what she was thinking about.

"And what were you thinking about that kiss?"

"I was thinking about how amazing it felt to have you lips on mine again. How much I had missed that feeling over the years."

Without thinking or questioning herself Tara leaned forward and kissed Willow again. This time Willow brought the hand that wasn't holding on to Tara's up and put it on the back of Tara's neck pulling her in closer. They both moaned at the touch. Tara ran her tongue along Willow's bottom lip and Willow opened her mouth allowing the blonde access to deepen the kiss. Tara pulled Willow closer, their lips were moving together, their tongues dueling for dominance.

"I love kissing you. I've missed it so much over the years," said Tara in-between kisses pulling Willow onto her lap.

"Mmmmm, then don't stop," said Willow pulling the blonde into a deep kiss.

"Hey Will, Tar..." said Buffy as she opened the door and she and Dylan started to walk in.

"Um, er," stammered Dylan.

Willow and Tara broke apart and Willow casually slid off Tara's lap and back onto the side of the bed.

"We'll um just be leaving," said Buffy as she and Dylan started to turn around.

"Y-you don't have to leave," said Tara completely embarrassed to have been found making out on her late mother's bed.

"We were just getting ready to head back downstairs," said Willow.

"I don't think that is what you were getting ready to do," said Dylan who then turned about the same shade of red as Willow and Tara were.

"Dylan Pellot, if you want to live you will NOT repeat or think about what you just saw," said Tara trying to sound stern.

"Yeah, sure," he said unconvincingly.

"Same goes for you Buffy," threatened Willow.

"Right," said Buffy with a smile as she leaned out of the room. "They are fine they were just making out," she yelled down to the others.

"I'm going to stay up here now, you all have a great night," said Tara mortified.

"Oh no, if we have to go down, you have to go down," said Dylan walking over and taking his best friends hand.

"You will pay Summers, you will pay," Tara said glaring as she let Dylan drag her past Buffy who was giggling uncontrollably.

"I'm the Sheriff. I don't think I will pay. Thanks though," she smugly said.

"You will, trust me you will," promised Willow as she followed Dylan and Tara downstairs, Buffy bringing up the rear.

* * *

"Hello," said Xander and Dawn smirking as Tara and the others entered the room.

"Hello," said Tara turning a couple of shades darker as she moved to sit on the couch. Dylan trying to contain his laughter sat next to her and Willow on the other side of her. Buffy went into the kitchen and got the food and brought it out on a tray.

"Dawn, can you go grab the drinks?" asked Buffy.

"Sure," said Dawn as she went into the kitchen and grabbed the tray of drinks and brought them back.

"Thanks for picking up the food Dawnie," said Willow.

"No problem."

"So Tara, Dylan was telling me earlier about how you two met," started Dawn with a smile.

"Oh he did," giggled Tara.

"I have apologized for 10 years, will you let it go?" said Dylan.

"Oh come on, it was cute," said Dawn.

"I wanna hear this," said Willow looking over at Tara and Dylan.

"I want to hear Tara's side," said Dawn.

"I hadn't been in New York that long when I started to go to visit the museums. They were usually empty and it got me out of the place where I was staying and wouldn't allow me to dwell over my injuries. One day I was looking at one of the paintings and Dylan came over and asked if I liked the artist. I told him that the painting was a fake. I asked him how I could know if I liked the artist if they ripped off a famous artist and didn't take the time to try to do something original. He started to laugh at me and told me he knew the painting was a fake and that he was the one that had painted it. I remember thinking he was quite obnoxious and pompous thinking that he had painted it or that it would impress me to know that he had ripped off a famous painter. Then he explained that it was for insurance costs. I felt a bit guilty for judging him so quickly and I told him it was a good replica. Again he laughed at me, which again annoyed the hell out of me and then he said it couldn't have been too good if I could tell that it was a fake almost immediately. So I showed him where his flaws were. It was a few simple brush stroke that he had done completely wrong."

"I wouldn't say completely wrong, you are just too anal about that stuff," joked Dylan.

"You wish!"

"Tara, you know he was coming over to hit on you don't you?" asked Dawn.

"Yeah, he asked me out just before the curator came over to offer me a job. And then he asked me out after she left and as we got to know one another for the next couple of weeks."

"Yeah, and then she finally told me that she already had a true love and she missed HER like crazy," said Dylan looking over at Willow. "When I asked why she left, she said it had to do with the car accident she was in and we left it at that."

"I didn't completely lie," defended Tara.

"No, you neglected to tell me that the car was your father," Dylan said flatly.

"True," said Tara looking down.

"Tara, I don't blame you. You didn't know me then. You could have told me over the years," said Dylan setting his plate and Tara's plate on the table in front of them and then wrapping his arms around her and holding her close.

"I was afraid that you wouldn't understand or you would just pity me," she whispered.

"Honey, there is nothing you could tell me that I wouldn't understand," he said. "You are my best friend, my sanity most days, so there is no room for pity."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but thank you," said Tara as she hugged Dylan.

"Don't be sorry, just know that I am always here for you no matter what you have to tell me or need."

"Tara, can I keep him," asked Buffy.

"No, he's mine, you can have Xander," giggled Tara holding onto Dylan.

"Yeah, Dylan seems like the bigger win," Buffy said smiling at Xander.

"Gee, thanks Buffy," said Xander.

"Sorry, but when was the last time you said something that sweet and meant it?"

"Way to make me look bad man," Xander said to Dylan who laughed.

"I go home tomorrow man. You will be the sole stud in this group then," said Dylan.

"I like how you think. I feel better now."

"Tara, I have a question and I'm not asking to upset you or anything, but..." started Buffy.

"Just ask Buffy," said Tara.

"Well, the injuries that you sustained that night. They would have required medical attention and there is no way that it wouldn't have gone unreported. Every hospital and clinic is required to report something of that caliber."

"I did get medical attention that night. Doctor Conlan lived two farms down. I made it to his house and he helped me."

"Wait you mean Kaleb Conlan?" asked Xander.

"Yeah, he has his office on the farm grounds there and he was able to do x-rays and stitch me up. He gave me some antibiotics. I didn't want to stay there too long in case they came looking for me. His wife drove me out-of-town so that I could catch a train and get the hell out of here."

"He is the one that called the ambulance for your mom," said Xander.

"He must have gone over there after they dropped me off. I know if he had gone before he would have told me that she was hurt and I never would have left."

"They moved away not long after that," added Buffy.

"What do you say we clean up and then watch a movie?" suggested Dawn noticing how quiet and uncomfortable Willow was getting.

"That sounds good," said Willow not making eye contact with anyone.

Willow grabbed one of the trays and put the empty containers on it and then she headed into the kitchen. Tara followed her waving at the others to stay.

"You okay?" asked Tara.

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine," said Willow avoiding looking at the blonde.

"Sweetie, this is me. Ten years apart or not, I know you well enough to know you aren't okay or fine."

"You could have died. At least with you living elsewhere I knew you were around, somewhere. Had you died, I don't know how I would have gone on," said Willow a tear rolling down her face as Tara pulled her into a hug.

"Oh Sweetie. I didn't die and I am here with you now," said Tara in a hushed voice.

They held one another for a couple of minutes and then after composing themselves they joined the others. Dawn had already put in Wreck-It-Ralph by the time Willow and Tara got back. They sat on the couch, Tara curled up against Willow who put her arm around Tara. As the movie continued Tara dozed off and after the movie ended they decided to just let her sleep and that Willow would bring her by the hotel in the morning so that they could all have breakfast together before Dylan left.

* * *

**TBC...**


	10. Chapter 9 - Blindside

**matash21:** You really think I would put more heartbreak in...hmmm...maybe, maybe not you will just have to keep reading!

**Willara4ever:** Buffy always did have bad timing and a big mouth so her yelling down at the others seemed fitting. Thanks for being the best beta!

**Suzi:** Speechless huh?! Awesome! I can live with that. :P Some connections in life are built that just never go away. I can't tell you about what will happen in the future (I only have 5 more chapters written so far…).

* * *

**Feedback:** Pretty please…it helps me improve and if I get stuck it tells me where you would like to see the story go.

_**Author's Notes: **__Thank you to __**Willara4ever**__ for all your help with this story. Thanks for being the best beta on this and all my published and especially the unpublished stories I have going. Thank you to __**matash21 **__for the awesome cover image!_

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**Chapter 9 - Blindside**

"Hi, um Sidney," said a voice from behind the woman sitting at the bar nursing a gin and tonic.

"A-anya," choked Sidney.

"I thought that was you I saw come in. Are you here with anyone? Or meeting someone?" asked Anya looking around as she took the empty seat next to Sidney.

"No, I just needed to get out and have a drink to wind down after work."

"Do you mind if I join you for a moment? I have a couple of questions and I am hoping you can answer them."

"I will answer what I can," Sidney nodded uncomfortably as Anya moved her seat closer.

"Great," said Anya getting the bartenders attention and ordering them each another drink.

"So, what do you want to know?"

"Well, let's start by you telling me what you know about Dylan? That man is just way too hot for his own good."

"I will take your word on that," laughed Sidney uncomfortably.

"Oh that is right, I forgot, you probably have the hots for that blonde girl that he was with."

"Tara? Oh yes! She is much too hot for her own good as well."

"You know she isn't a real blonde right? Sorry I digress. So now tell me what do you know about them?"

"I know she isn't, but those eyes will entrance you. As for what I know about them...not much honestly," said Sidney. "Tara lived here a long time ago. They were all really close before she left, and this is the first time she has been back in years."

"Interesting. I've known all of them for a long time and I don't recall them ever mentioning her. Do you know how long her and Dylan have been together?"

"No, I only know that they have known each other a long time though. Sorry I don't know much else. The only other thing I know is that Tara and Willow used to be really close."

"Hmmm, I am going to have to do some checking on them. Do you have any idea on how long are they in town?"

"I overheard them say that Dylan goes back to wherever they are from tomorrow and Tara the following day."

"Well poop! Why can't it be the other way around," laughed Anya.

"I'm perfectly okay with that order. I get another day to drool over the blonde bombshell," laughed Sidney feeling some of the alcohol in the drinks.

"How about you take her and I'll take him and we'll both be happy!"

"Deal," said Sidney as they both laughed and ordered another round of drinks.

Sitting nearby was a light brown-haired man with a scruffy beard who was listening in on their conversation. _"So, that was Tara in the park with Sheriff Summers...I may need to find a way to pay my little sister a warm family visit and remind her what FAMILY is all about," thought Donnie Maclay._

* * *

Willow closed the door behind her friends and then returned and stood in the doorway of the living room watching the blonde, the love of her life sleeping on the couch. She couldn't believe that Tara was here, in her house. She had spent years dreaming of this and now, it was just the two of them.

"Hey, sleeping beauty," Willow whispered in Tara's ear as she knelt next to the couch.

"Hmmm," responded a tired Tara as her eyes slowly fluttered open.

"There are those beautiful eyes I love so much," said Willow causing Tara to blush.

"W-where is everyone?" asked Tara looking around the empty room.

"They left a few minutes ago. You fell asleep during the movie and they couldn't bring themselves to wake you."

"I see, but you could?" teased Tara while trying to stifle a yawn.

"Only because it means I get to take you up to my bed," said Willow who instantly turned red as what had just she said registered in her mind. "That sounded better and less presumptuous in my head."

"It didn't sound too bad coming out of your mouth either," Tara said flirting with the redhead and then leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on Willow's now speechless lips.

"What do you say we move upstairs, get comfortable, and maybe try this kissing thing again?"

"Yes please," said Tara as they both got up and headed upstairs. Willow was following behind Tara making sure everything was locked up tight and shutting off the lights.

"I put your bag in my bedroom if you want to get ready for bed," Willow said suddenly very nervous.

"T-thanks," responded Tara suddenly as nervous as Willow. She watched as Willow went into the bathroom quickly.

"_What the hell is wrong with you Rosenberg. It isn't like you haven't seen her naked or slept with her before," thought Willow. "She is still Tara. Yeah, her body is different, but definitely not in a bad way, but so is yours. Stop being a chicken-shit! She was flirting with you."_

Tara changed into a pair of short boxers and a thin midriff t-shirt. She was folding her clothes and placing them in her bag when Willow came back in the room.

"Oh wow, you are, um, wow," said Willow staring at Tara with hungry eyes.

"Thanks," said Tara smiling seductively as she grabbed her toiletries and went into the bathroom.

"_Oh hell, I am NOT going to be able to keep my hands off her looking like that," thought Willow._

"_She still finds me attractive. That is a bonus," thought Tara. "She hasn't changed in the past 10 years. Well, she has gotten more beautiful, but that isn't a bad thing. I wonder if her skin still tastes as good?"_

Willow changed into just an old t-shirt and her underwear then pulled the covers back and crawled into bed while waiting for Tara to return. When Tara returned she put her toiletries on top of her bag and slowly, nervously crawled into the bed next to Willow.

"H-hi," Tara said softly.

"Hey there beautiful. You come here often?" said Willow. "Okay, again, sounded way better in my head."

They both laughed some of the tension and nerves subsided.

"I'm not sure what is worse, the cheesy pick-up line or what you were implying since we ARE in bed together."

"All of them..." said Willow burying her face in a pillow.

Tara removed the pillow and softly kissed Willow. They slid down so they were laying on their side facing one another and continued to kiss. At times they would deepen the kiss, other times it was just soft and sensual. Tara ran her hand down Willow's side and when she felt the shirt and only Willow's underwear her mind went to a very naughty place. She used all of her self-control to NOT cross any boundaries at this time. She steeled her mind back to enjoying the kissing.

Willow felt Tara's hand on the bare skin of her upper thigh and she could feel the internal conflict the blonde was having. Willow could tell that they were having the same internal debate. _"Do we take this further or stop here until we have discussed where this is going in the future," thought Willow._

They kissed for a couple of hours before exhaustion overtook them and they found themselves spooning. Tara holding Willow close in her arms.

Tara woke up the next morning pinned by the redhead laying half on top of her. It felt so good to have Willow there that Tara couldn't bring herself to adjust for fear that the redhead would move and she would lose contact. Tara wrapped her arms around the redhead and carefully pulled her more on top and held her as close as she could. After a while Willow woke up and saw blue eyes watching her.

"Good morning," said Willow as she started to move off of Tara, only to find that the blonde wasn't allowing her to move.

"Good morning," said Tara leaning up and stealing a kiss.

"I like waking up like this."

"Mmmm, me too!"

"Have you been awake long?" asked Willow.

"Nope, just about 10 minutes."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because you were looking mighty sexy laying there on top of me and well it just felt SO nice feeling your body on top of mine," Tara said blushing.

"It has been a long time since I've had someone next to me in bed. I spent part of the night hoping I wouldn't cross a line and make you want to leave," admitted Willow.

"I had the same fear," said Tara.

"You don't have to answer this, but have there been others or is there someone special?"

"No others and only you for the someone special."

"Same here. Well I mean you, that would be rather egotistical of me to say that I am someone special to myself. I don't know why I am all of a sudden nervous. I think it might have to do with your incredibly sexy body being below me. I can feel the heat emanating from your body and it just turns me on so much. Please kiss me so I stop babbling and making a fo..." babbled Willow until Tara pressed their lips together and thrust her tongue into the redheads mouth to further help. Tara remembered when they were together before that Willow told her that whenever their tongues touched her mind would go blank. She was banking on that still being the case.

"Mmmm, Willow," whispered Tara into the redhead's lips.

"I love how you say my name," Willow said sucking on Tara's lower lip.

"W-we had better stop. I don't know that I am ready mentally for this to go much further, although my body seems to think that it is more than ready."

"I agree," said Willow as Tara allowed her to move off her this time. "We should get ready to meet the others for breakfast. You can have the shower first. You don't need to worry about saving hot water for me. After that session I need a very cold shower."

"It looks like your water heater gets a break – I need a cold shower too," said Tara laughing.

The girls showered and got dressed and then headed over to the hotel to meet up with the others. They were so lost in one another that they didn't see the blue sedan following them.

* * *

Arriving at the hotel Willow and Tara exited the car and entered the lobby. Dylan was talking with Dawn and Xander when they entered.

"Good morning ladies," said Dylan as he went to hug the two women.

"Good morning," said Willow hugging the man and then moving towards Dawn.

"Great morning," said Tara softly to Dylan as he hugged her.

Just as they were pulling apart a man with light brown-haired walked into the lobby.

"So, my little sister returns home," he sneered as he walked towards Tara grabbing her by the hair and pulling her away from the group. As he did that Tara noticed the gun Donnie was holding.

"D-donnie," said Tara trying to keep her body in front of him and in-between everyone else behind her.

"Did you honestly think that you could just stroll in here and not have me find out? Nobody move or you and my little sister here will pay," said Donnie as he moved the gun motioning for the group to get together. Everyone moved together Tara still caught in Donnie's grasp. Dylan went to move in front of her and she painfully moved and pushed him back.

"Dylan, please, stay back," said Tara wincing as Donnie moved his hand from her hair to the back of her neck.

"So, who do we have here? Who is your knight in shining armor Tara? Someone you care a great deal about I can see," said Donnie.

"Nobody that you need to be concerned about Donnie," said Tara feeling the gun pressed painfully into her rib cage.

"How did you know she was here?" hissed Willow her voice shaking with fear and rage.

"Now, now, if everyone behaves you won't have to worry about my sisters safety. And your little desk girl and that annoying woman from the tire factory were talking at the bar last night," Donnie said with an evil smile.

"Sidney," grumbled Dawn.

"Anya," grumbled Xander.

"Yeah, those were their names," said Donnie smirking. "I've waited a long time for you to come back Sis...I knew you would. Dad thought you were smarter than to come back here, but I knew you weren't."

"Just let them all go Donnie, your beef is with me, not with them," Tara said as Donnie took a step away from her, but kept the gun aimed at her head.

"Oh, my beef is with you and the redheaded bitch. I'm am very curious who pretty boy is though. I thought you didn't like guys, huh Tara? Did you finally wise up in your years away? I always knew it was all your fault," said Donnie glaring at Willow.

"Donnie, please, just let everyone else leave, or you and I can leave, but I don't want anyone else getting hurt," said Tara moving towards her brother and stepping in front of the gun he had aimed at Willow.

"I don't think I care what you want, now, WHO is the guy? Or should I shoot him and see how much he truly means to you?" asked Donnie pointing the gun towards Dylan's head.

"He's just a friend," snapped Tara fear and panic coming through in her voice.

"Well, you seem a little too close for just being friends," said Donnie looking between Tara and Dylan.

"We are just friends. Now will you please stop pointing the gun at them? Point it at me if you have to point it at someone."

"No, I don't believe it is like that," said Donnie aiming the gun back at Tara. Dawn had started to move towards Donnie while his attention was focused elsewhere. Unfortunately he saw her and backhanded her knocking her back into the group. Willow catching the brunette before she hit the ground.

"I fucking said nobody move. I mean it when I say I have no issues with shooting or killing Tara here and now. Does ANYONE else want to try to move forward and see if I mean what I say?" Nobody moved other than to shake their head in response.

Tara took the opportunity while Donnie was distracted and moved forward reaching out towards Donnie. When he saw this he swung the butt of the gun and caught Tara's shoulder causing her to cry out in pain as she was knocked to the ground. Willow and Dylan both instinctively lunged towards Tara but stopped short when Donnie pointed the gun at them and Tara put her other hand up to stop them.

"Willow, Dylan, please, no heroes. I'm okay," said Tara not wanting to risk anyone else being hurt. She tried to move to get up but was unable to move her left arm after being hit by Donnie.

"You know Sis, this is boring me. I think that maybe I should just shoot you and get it over with," said Donnie lifting Tara up by her injured shoulder and shoving her in the direction of the others.

Donnie pointed the gun at Tara and smiled maniacally. Tara realizing what was about to happen lunged forward at him and knocked the gun down, but not before Donnie pulled the trigger hitting Tara in the side near where the puncture wounds from the belt were. Tara fell to the ground landing on top of Donnie and knocking the gun out of his hand. Within a second Willow was there pulling Tara off Donnie and holding her hand over the wound that was seeping blood, Dylan had hit Donnie and turned him over onto his stomach and was now pinning Donnie down. Dawn called Buffy and told her to get an ambulance to the hotel in a hurry.

* * *

"Willow, sit down," said Dawn as Willow continued to pace in the hallway.

"How do you expect me to sit? Tara is in there and we have no idea what is going on or if she is even still alive," snapped the redhead as she kept replaying the events after the shooting in her head.

_Willow could feel the warm blood seeping out of Tara's body. She made sure that Tara was still breathing. The room around her had disappeared and it was just her and Tara._

"_Don't leave me again," Willow cried over and over again in her head. No sound could escape her mouth, fear had stolen it from her._

_When the paramedics arrived they gently moved Willow out-of-the-way and worked to stabilize Tara and to stop the bleeding._

"_Is she hurt anywhere other than the gunshot wound?" asked one of the paramedics._

"_Her left shoulder," said Xander pulling Willow into his arms. "Take extra special care of her guys."_

"_We will Xander. Do you and Willow want to ride with us to the hospital?"_

_Xander and Willow nodded and waited for them to load Tara into the ambulance before they got in._

_Meanwhile:_

"_What the hell happened here?" said Buffy as she raced in behind the paramedics._

"_Donnie shot Tara," said Dawn,_

"_What the hell happened to your face?" Buffy asked seeing the side of Dawn's face swollen._

"_Donnie backhanded me," Dawn said as Xander handed her an icepack before heading to the ambulance._

_Buffy stomped over to where Dylan had Donnie pinned pulling her handcuffs out of their holster._

"_Dylan, I got it from here," said Buffy as Dylan got off the other man. "Donnie Maclay, you have the right to remain silent - which I highly recommend, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney - not that you will need one since you are guilty as shit, if you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed to you - I feel sorry for that poor attorney. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future - again, not that you will need one since you are guilty. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney - but I recommend keeping your mouth shut. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present?"_

"_Fuck you! I hope the bitch suffers," spat Donnie as Buffy finished handcuffing him and two of her deputies picked him up of the ground._

"_I'll take that as a no. Get him out of here before I forget I am sheriff," said Buffy._

_The two officers holding Donnie nodded to her and when Donnie didn't immediately start moving one of the officers looking directly at Dawn shoved Donnie hard causing him to stumble face first into a wall._

"_Dawn I want you to get that looked at when you get to the hospital. I have to go to the station to take care of getting Donnie processed. Dylan, can you drive her?"_

"_Sure," said Dylan as he took the set of keys Dawn was offering him._

"Willow, if she were dead they would have come and told us," said Xander receiving a glare from both Dawn and Dylan. "I'm sorry."

Dylan rose and went over and wrapped his arms around the redhead who broke down and started to cry. Dylan murmured for her to let it out and that Tara was a fighter and she would make it through this.

"Have we heard anything?" asked Buffy as she entered the surgical waiting room.

"No," answered Dawn walking over to her sister. "What happened to Donnie?"

"He has been charged with attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, aggravated assault, false imprisonment, and stalking," said Buffy. "He won't see the light of day until he dies."

"Good," said Willow pulling away from Dylan.

"Dawnie what did they say about your face?"

"They said I will be tender and bruise, but there is no other damage."

"Didn't you have a flight today?" asked Buffy looking at Dylan who was still holding Willow.

"The second Donnie hit Tara with that gun that flight went out the window," answered Dylan.

"I went online and got his ticket adjusted as soon as we got here," said Dawn. "I needed something as a distraction."

Willow started pacing again and waved off Dylan, Xander, Dawn, and Buffy as they each went towards her to try to comfort her.

"Did they say how long she was going to be in surgery?" asked Buffy.

"No, just that it was serious and they would update us when they could," said Dawn. "Xander tried to go back and get details and was told he was banned from the area."

"Will, Tara is going to come through this. I can feel it," said Buffy.

"You didn't see her when we got here Buffy. She'd lost so much blood and she hadn't regained consciousness."

Willow sat down in a chair away from everyone, pulled her legs up to her chest and buried her head into her knees.

* * *

"Hello Lillian Boer please," said Dylan into his cellphone. "Tell her it's Dylan Pellot calling."

"She's in a meeting Dylan," said the receptionist.

"It's important. Please, can you interrupt her?" the desperation coming through in his voice.

"Dylan, what can I do for you?" said Lillian as she was connected with Dylan.

"Hi Lillian. Tara and I are going to need some more time off."

"Is everything alright? You told the receptionist that it was important."

"Tara is in surgery right now. She was shot this morning," said Dylan.

"Oh no! She will be alright though, right?" asked Lillian. She had gotten to know and care a great deal about the blonde woman.

"Yes, or at least that is my positive thought. We won't know anything until she comes out of surgery in all honesty."

"Take all the time you need, and keep me updated. You have my cell right?"

"Yeah, Tara has it in her phone," said Dylan.

"Alright, I'll be expecting a call from you today."

"As soon as we hear something I will call you. Thanks Lillian."

Dylan hung up the phone and went back to join the others in their wait for news on Tara.

* * *

"Maclay family?" said the man in the blue scrubs as he came through the heavy door.

"That's us," said Buffy as everyone gathered around her and the doctor.

"Well, she is very lucky. The bullet missed her kidney and any other vital organs. We were able to remove the bullet and stitch her up. She has a broken collarbone, and hairline fracture in the humeral head - the ball that goes into the shoulder joint. Those should take a few weeks to a couple of months to heal. What does Ms. Maclay do for a living?"

"She is an artist, painter," answered Dylan.

"Well, as long as she takes a lot of breaks and is not left-handed, I will clear her to return to work in two weeks, but no sooner. She also has a semi severe concussion."

"She will be alright though?" asked Willow barely holding back the tears.

"Yes, she will be alright physically, mentally, that may take a lot longer."

"Thank you doctor. Can we see her?" asked Buffy.

"She is still in recovery, I will allow one of you to go in and sit with her," said the doctor.

"Willow, you go," said Buffy receiving a nod of agreement from the others.

"Are you sure?" asked Willow.

"Positive," said Dylan.

The doctor led Willow back to the recovery room. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw Tara there, looking so frail and vulnerable. Wires and tubes coming out of her, monitors beeping with her heartbeat and taking and tracking her vitals.

"You can sit here, hold her hand, just don't disturb the wire leads. She should wake up any time now."

"Thank you," whispered Willow.

The doctor left and Willow sat down and took Tara's hand, brought it up to her lips and kissed it.

"You know sweetheart, this isn't how I thought the day was going to go," Willow said. "When we woke up together this morning, it was the happiest I've been since you left. Now, I'm so scared. I need you to wake up and show me those beautiful blue eyes."

Willow sat there holding Tara's hand for at least 30-45 minutes before she felt the blonde start to move and her breathing pattern change, the beeps on the monitors changed. A nurse came in stating she saw the readings on the monitors change. Tara was slowly waking up, she was groggy and disoriented, but seeing Willow there, even with the fearful look on her face helped Tara to calm down.

* * *

"I hate hospitals," said Dawn. "Ever since Mom. I just can't stand this place."

"I know Dawnie, I know," said Buffy putting her arm around her sister.

"Why don't Dylan and I go get us some coffee," said Xander wanting to give them some privacy.

"Yeah, we'll go get some coffee," said Dylan receiving a nod from both Dawn and Buffy.

"Tara will get through this, I promise," said Buffy.

* * *

"So, you know what kind of coffee everyone likes?" asked Dylan as he and Xander walked down the hallway.

"Yeah, they all choose mocha. Is Tara that predictable?"

"Yeah, although hers is always a caramel mocha coffee," Dylan said with a laugh.

"So, was there ever anything between you and Tara?"

"No, not that I didn't hope. She was too hung up on Willow and being gay. Although after seeing them together, I get it."

"Yeah, the sad part is that they were always like that too. I mean before they started dating or even when we were at that age when romance was icky still. Do you think they could have a chance for something?" asked Xander.

"I wouldn't count it out, but I don't know. There are a lot of emotional scars there."

"Yeah, and some pretty intense physical ones as well. I just want 10 minutes alone with Tara's father and brother," snapped Xander.

"You and me both. I can't believe that Tara would put herself in that kind of danger to protect me," said Dylan as they stopped at the coffee machine.

"Trust me, that bullet she took for us all, that was nothing compared to what she would have done. Tara cares deeply for you. I know you helped her when she first got to New York, she is going to need that kind of help again."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else. I talked to the museum curator and told her that Tara was in the hospital and we needed more time off. I have her covered on the New York end. Lillian is holding her spot for the show as well. Donnie isn't going to take that away from her."

"When is the show?" asked Xander.

"It is in two months. Actually, two months from today," said Dylan grabbing two cups of coffee as Xander grabbed the other two.

"Is she that good? I mean we saw the proofs, but honestly, just between us."

"She is better than those proofs show. Tara has a lot of talent and I agree with Lillian that she can go far in the art world. Will she be a Van Gogh or DaVinci? No, but she has talent and promise," Dylan said proudly.

"I'm happy for her then," said Xander as they entered the waiting room and he handed Dawn her coffee and Dylan handed Buffy hers.

"Any word?" asked Dylan.

"Maclay Family," said the nurse.

"Yes," said Dylan since he was closest to the nurse.

"Tara is waking up. Once we get her into a room you'll be able to see her. We tried to get the girl with the red hair to leave, but she was pretty adamant that she wasn't going anywhere."

"That sounds about right for Willow," said Dawn as the group laughed.

* * *

Once settled into her private room Tara reached out for Willow's hand.

"Hey," said Willow.

"Hey," replied Tara tiredly.

"I know you have to feel like crap, but the others are here to see you. if you would rather wait..."

"No, I know if it were me out there I wouldn't relax until I knew one of them was okay. First I want to hold you and talk to you about something."

"Sounds serious," Willow said sitting in the chair next to the bed.

"Cuddle with me?" asked Tara as Willow's face lit up a bit and she adjusted the wire leads so that she could lay next to Tara.

"I'm not hurting you am I?"

"Not at all. I need to feel you close. You didn't get hurt at all did you?" asked Tara.

"No, but I am a bit mad at you," said Willow seeing a confused look cross Tara's face. "You said no heroes and then you go and get shot."

"Am I the only one that got hurt?"

"Well, Dawn is going to have some bruises from Donnie hitting her, but the rest of us are fine. I think that Donnie may be hurting for a while, but that is just because he 'resisted' being arrested and one of Buffy's deputes had to get physical with him."

"So, just me out of the group though? I mean with serious injuries."

"Yes, just you missy," said Willow seeing relief in Tara's eyes.

"Willow, I am so sorry for what happened today."

"You have nothing to apologize for. You are not responsible for your brother and his actions."

"He does know how to dampen the day doesn't he?"

"Yeah, this morning and well to be honest last night as well were perfect. Falling asleep and waking up with you was incredible," said the redhead. "It felt like, no better than it used to."

"Will, Sweetie, you know I have to go back to New York right?" asked Tara holding Willow closer as she felt the redhead tense.

"Yes, but I am ignoring that for now," said Willow.

"Sweetie, I don't want you to ignore it, I want you to talk to me," said Tara.

"Baby, you have been out of surgery for an hour, maybe two, talking about you leaving can wait. Please? For me," said Willow, her voice getting quieter as she spoke.

"Alright, it will wait until I get released. Then we need to talk. Fair?"

"Fair," said Willow as she leaned up and kissed Tara softly.

"Now, go get the others or they are going to be absolutely horrible to get rid of."

"Yes ma'am," said Willow as she got up to go get the others.

* * *

**TBC...**


	11. Chapter 10 - Close

**bluepaintbox:** Things have funny ways of working out...even in stories like this where there has been so much heartbreak. Have faith...

**matash21:** You don't know that there is another heartbreak around the corner. Okay, yes, you know me, but still.

**Willara4ever:** Yes, very bad Anya and Sidney! Sometimes roughing up the bad guy isn't a bad thing. tee hee.

**Suzi: **I'm glad you are still enjoying the story and the connection between Willow and Tara. I hope you enjoy the update.

* * *

**Feedback:** Pretty please…it helps me improve and if I get stuck it tells me where you would like to see the story go.

_**Authors Notes: **__Thank you to __**Willara4ever**__ for all your help with this story. Thanks for being the best beta on this and all my published and especially the unpublished stories I have going. Thank you to __**matash21 **__for the awesome cover image!_

* * *

**Chapter 10 - Close**

Willow walked into the hospital waiting room where she saw the others standing in a group talking.

"Willow," said Buffy noticing the redhead and rushing over to her.

"Hi," said Willow raising her hand and waving at the others.

"How is Tara?" asked Dylan.

"How are you?" asked Dawn.

"Do you want a mocha?" asked Xander.

"Guys, let the woman talk or she is going to go back into Tara's room and we aren't going to get to visit Tara," said Buffy smiling over at Willow.

"Alright, to answer you questions...Tara is awake and alert. I am doing okay, a bit annoyed that she brought up her having to leave when she had been awake for 7 minutes. Yes, please, I definitely need a mocha! And, I know you are all wanting to see Tara, so once we have my mocha we can go in."

"You guys go ahead and go back. I'll go get Willow's mocha and meet you back there. What room is she in?" asked Xander.

"Room 829. Go through the doors and to the left and it will be on the left most of the way down the hall," said Willow.

"Great, I'll be there soon. Anyone else need a coffee?" asked Xander receiving a round a head shakes.

Xander went to get Willow's coffee and the rest of the group followed Willow to Tara's room.

"How does she look," asked Dylan as they walked down the hall.

"She is tired and pale, but if she didn't look like that I would be concerned," said Willow smiling back at him.

* * *

"Okay, now if you all are going in there I need you to keep her in her bed. She has gotten up twice since you left to get up," said the annoyed nurse exiting Tara's room looking at the group before her eyes met Willows.

"I was only gone for 5 minutes," said a bewildered Willow.

"I know. Just tell her that she needs to stay in the damn bed. I told her if I caught her up again I was going to put her in restraints," the nurse said sternly.

"We'll make sure of it ma'am," said Dylan.

"I'll make sure that she stays put, you have my word" said Willow.

"Thank you," said the nurse giving them a curt nod before she walked back to the nurses station.

"Can you guys give me a minute alone with Tara?" asked Dylan his eyes pleading with the others.

"Sure," said the others as he nodded to them and then entered Tara's room.

* * *

"I just want to check on your...what are you doing up?" asked the nurse.

"I need to get something out of my coat," said Tara.

"Dear, your coat was covered in blood. The paramedics put it in a bag and gave it to one of your friends. Now, get back in bed. Please."

Tara moved cautiously and got back in bed. The nurse left the room and within a minute Tara was up again. She was pacing next to the bed at least as far as the lines in the IV would allow her to.

"Didn't we just have this conversation? You need to stay in bed or we are going to have to restrain you," aid the nurse entering again with a shot of antibiotics and pain medication.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I am up again, I just couldn't sit still," admitted Tara.

"Well, you need to remember that you just had surgery. You have stitches that you can't be moving, stretching, and possibly pulling out. Not to mention that there are also some tubes in your body that are going drain the fluids and keep you from getting an infection."

"I'm really sorry. I will stay put this time," said Tara as she got back into bed.

The nurse rolled her eyes and then walked over to Tara's IV. "I get how hard it is to stay put. I was in for a couple of days after a surgery and I just wanted to be out or doing my job. Please though, don't keep getting up." The nurse then injected the antibiotics into the IV and smiled at Tara.

"I'm sorry. I really don't want to cause more damage, I have to get back to New York for work."

"Well you are going to be here in the hospital for several days and you aren't going to be able to fly right away either so get used to it. If you don't rest you are going to be stuck in our little neck of the woods for a lot longer. When were you supposed to go back? What do you do in New York?"

"I was supposed to head back tomorrow. I guess I will be missing that flight," Tara laughed uncomfortably. "I'm an artist and I work at an art museum."

"It sounds like you love what you do. You are also going to definitely be missing that flight, but you seem to have some good friends with you here," smiled the nurse as she played around with the machines.

"I do," smiled Tara thinking about Willow.

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

"My brother has a violent side and he shot me," said Tara with no emotion.

"I'm sorry to hear that. You seem like a nice girl, except you won't stay put and I now have to babysit you."

"I promise, if you leave I will stay in bed and not risk my stitches and drain tube again."

"You better. I meant it when I said next time I am going to put the straps on," said the nurse, her tone teasing though.

Tara smiled at her and the nurse left the room.

* * *

Dylan walked into Tara's hospital room just after the nurse left with a look on his face that told Tara he was NOT happy with her.

"Hi," Tara said sheepishly trying to hide behind her hair.

"Hey. So, where do I start?" he asked rhetorically.

"How about with how much you love and adore me?" Tara answered hoping to ease the tension in the room.

"You already know the answers to those. I want to know why you are getting up? And why you would feel the need to try to talk about leaving with Willow after all that had just happened. She thought she was going to lose you. Your blood was all over her hands Tara."

"W-what do you mean my b-blood was all over her hands?" asked Tara shocked and very disturbed to learn this.

"She was the first to get to you after you were shot. Willow is the one who pulled you off Donnie," started Dylan then pausing to allow this information to sink in. "Tara, she put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding. You were slowly bleeding to death in her hands."

"I-I was? S-she d-did that?"

"Yeah, she did that," said Dylan. "Now, I am going to go back outside the room and send her in and you are going to say that you are sorry for being an idiot. Got it?"

"Yes sir," said Tara diverting her eyes from him. She was ashamed for bringing the subject up, but in she didn't want to lead Willow on either.

"I still love you and I'm still glad you are alive and doing well. I just don't want you to blow anything. You two are so cute together," said Dylan squeezing Tara's hand quickly.

"Thanks," said Tara still ashamed at how she had acted.

Dylan left the room and sent Willow back in the room telling the others that Tara wanted to talk to Willow alone for a moment.

"Hey," said Willow as she walked into the room and quickly made her way over to Tara's side.

"Hey," said Tara avoiding eye contact.

"Dylan said you wanted to talk to me alone. Are you okay? Do you want me to go away? Did I do something wrong?"

"I am as fine as I can be under the circumstances. And no, Willow I don't want you to go away. That is so far from what I truly want. I did something wrong and I owe you an apology."

"What would you have to apologize for?" asked Willow as she sat on the edge of Tara's bed and took the blondes hand.

"I shouldn't have brought up my leaving. I should have thanked you. Dylan told me that you were the one that pulled me off Donnie and then put pressure on my wound. You had my blood all over your hands. I'm guessing you didn't even think twice about what you were doing. Thank you!"

"Tara you don't have to thank me. I knew you didn't know about what happened after you were shot let alone what I did. I am just so glad that you are alive and still here with us."

"I still shouldn't have done what I did. I love you Will, and I honestly think I would be more freaked out if our positions were reversed," said Tara bringing Willow's hand to her mouth and kissing her knuckles. "Sweetie, thank you for what you did for me."

"I love you too. I know that you are going to be leaving, but I don't want to think about it now. I want to concentrate on the time we do have together. The fact that we still love one another."

Tara feeling overwhelmed used the hand she was holding and pulled Willow down to her and kissed her deeply. Willow leaned into the kiss as Tara thrust her tongue into the redheads mouth. They both groaned at the surge of arousal that went through their bodies. They both heard the steady beat of Tara's heart monitor speed up but they didn't break the kiss. They were powerless over their need for the other.

"Well, I guess that is one way to keep her in that bed," laughed the nurse causing both women to start to laugh and break their kiss.

"Sorry," said Willow and Tara together.

"Don't be. You two look cute together. Have you been together long?" asked the nurse as she silenced and reset the monitors.

"Yes and no," answered Tara.

"We were together for two years before she had to move away. Although, since we never broke up officially you could say we have been together for 12 years," Willow said proudly as her fingers played with Tara's fingers.

"Well, if you can keep her heart rate below 110, I have no problem with your method of keeping her in that bed. If you can't – you are going to have to stop," said the nurse as she left laughing and the others came in.

"Well, she definitely left in a better mood than she came down that hall in," said Buffy as she and the others entered the room and saw both Willow and Tara still a bright shade of red.

"So, what did she walk in on?" asked Dawn waggling her eyebrows at the two on the hospital bed. "Please, give explicit details, we can take it."

"Dawn, I don't know that I personally can handle explicit details," said Dylan blushing.

"Why not? You had the hots for Tara, I have the hots for Tara, we can both live vicariously through Willow," said Dawn.

"I think not," said Willow abruptly.

"Well Tara sure as hell isn't going to let either of us kiss her enough to get a nurse to race in on us is she," laughed Dawn. "And I know you two had to be kissing."

"You are right, I am not going to let either of you kiss me like that," said Tara. "You and Dylan can either get over your crushes on me or you can just daydream about it, but you are NOT living vicariously through Willow."

"Spoil-sport," said Dawn pouting and sitting at the end of Tara's bed. "I'm glad you are feeling better. Please don't ever scare us like that again."

"We all agree with you there Dawn," said Xander entering with Willow's mocha.

"Hey, where's mine?" asked Tara pouting.

"You missy do not get one...yet," Xander replied handing Willow her mocha. "I promise to bring you one when the doctor says you are allowed."

"How is your face?" Tara asked the brunette sitting by her feet.

"It hurts some and is going to be bruised, but I'm fine."

The group sat around the bed. Buffy explained to Tara that because of everyone's statements and that this was Donnie's third strike she wasn't going to be needed to testify or ever see him again. This was a relief to everyone in the room. Mostly to Willow and Tara who knew that there was no way the blonde would be able to face her brother again.

"Thank you for everything Buffy. I don't think I would survive having to relive any of my past and what a trial would put me through."

"Nobody wants you to have to relive any of that," said Dylan.

"Um, Dylan, weren't you supposed to be on a flight back home today?" asked Tara.

"Yeah I was, but you see my best friend got shot by her psycho brother so my flight has been postponed," he replied. "I also called Lillian and told her some of what was going on and got us both more time off AND she is going to hold your spot in the show."

"She is?"

"Yeah, she is. She did ask that either I bring the forms back with me or you can mail them back to her. She just needs them by the end of the week."

"Thank you," said Tara smiling at the raven-haired man.

"So, Tara, do they know how long you will be in the hospital?" asked Buffy.

"The nurse earlier said I will be here for about three or four days and then I can't fly back to New York for another week so, I am here for another maybe two weeks at least. And Dylan you are NOT staying that long. I will not have you missing that kind of work for me and what my dumbass brother has done."

"Not really your choice now is it?" said the raven-haired man. "Though, I will make you a deal and go back when you are out of the hospital."

"You can stay at the hotel," Dawn piped in.

"And I will pay for your room," said Tara giving him a look that said 'don't mess with me'.

"I don't think so. You and Tara weren't paying for the rooms you were in anyway," said Dawn.

"Why not?" asked Tara and Dylan simultaneously.

"Family doesn't pay for rooms in my hotel," said Dawn a huge smile crossing her face.

"Your hotel?" asked both Tara and Dylan again causing the others to give them funny looks.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that I owned that hotel and that I wasn't just the manager?"

"Yeah, you definitely forgot to mention that," said Tara. "How? When?"

"I used my portion of the insurance money from when Mom died to buy the place from the people who used to run the hotel. I changed the name, updated it, and now it is my little baby."

"That is amazing Dawnie. I am really proud of you," said Tara grinning proudly at the brunette.

"Proud enough to give me a sampling of what Willow was hoarding all those years ago?" joked Dawn waggling her eyebrows at Willow and Tara. "Or is it what she is hoarding now?"

"I'm not large with the butch, but I will kick your ass Summers if you move those lips anywhere near Tara's lips," warned Willow showing Dawn her resolve face.

"Whoa, down Willow. I was just joking," giggled Dawn. "Sheesh."

"My lips," said Willow possessively as she leaned over and kissed Tara softly.

Everyone laughed as they pulled apart and Tara grabbed the collar of Willow's shirt and looked Dawn directly in the eyes and let a mischievous smile cross her face as she said, "Yeah, her lips!" And then Tara pulled Willow into a deep kiss. When they heard the monitor start to beep faster they broke apart and looked up to make sure they kept Tara's heart rate below 110.

"You know, you two are as mean now as you were when I was little and you would kiss in front of me," pouted Dawn.

"Well, back then we didn't know you had a crush on Tara," said Willow. "Now it is just going to be our extreme fun to make you squirm."

Tara yawned and the others knew she needed to get some rest. They shouldn't have stayed as long as they had, but everyone was just so grateful that she was going to be okay.

"We'll let you get some rest and then we'll come back tomorrow to visit," said Xander as the others agreed.

"That'd be great," said Tara yawning again.

Xander came over and hugged Tara and told her to he was glad she was going to be okay and that he loved her and how happy she made Willow. Buffy hugged Tara and told her that she loved her and that if she needed anything to call. Dawn hugged Tara and told her that she loved her and that if she couldn't have her she was glad it was Willow the blonde had chosen. She also told her she was going to have a chat with Sidney about discussing hotel guest outside of work. Tara asked her not to go too hard on her, Sidney didn't know. Dylan hugged her next and told her he loved her and he'd be back the next morning, but if she had a nightmare to call him and he'd be back sooner.

"Would you mind hanging around after everyone leaves?" Tara asked Willow as the redhead moved to give her a hug as the others had.

"Of course," Willow said smiling back at Tara.

"Do you need a ride home Will?" asked Buffy.

"Nah, you go ahead, I'm going to stick around here for a bit."

"Alright, we'll see you guys tomorrow. Get some rest," said Buffy as the group left.

"Thanks for staying," Tara said as she took Willow's hand. "I wanted some time just us..."

"I like 'just us' time," Willow smiled and then brought Tara's hand up to her mouth softly kissed the back of it.

* * *

**TBC...**


End file.
